Who am I to judge you......that seems to be the resounding theme of my day. I was on the phone with someone talking about a child, no a baby, a tiny soul, whose parents or parent, lost control for a second and did something that will forever alter this child's life.
My first instinct is primal :How could you? It's just a baby, an innocent soul. What were you thinking?! Well OBviously you weren't.......
But who am I to judge them. I have been sleep deprived. I have held an inconsolable child....I can comprehend how child abuse can happen. Hate to admit it. Didn't do it, but I can UNDERSTAND how someone loses control. Doesn't make it right. Doesn't make it better. Doesn't make me feel good about myself.
How quickly we jump to conclusions about people...how quick we are to say "well I would never..." Why do we do that? To feel better about ourselves? I think I feel better about myself if I can say...tell me. Tell me what happened...(without judgement) Wouldn't we both be better off in the long run? Why is that so hard sometimes??
I think that sometimes it is hard to ask for help. I think that sometimes the standards I place on myself, the standards that I think society asks of me as a mom and a wife, are unrealistic. I think if I don't live up to those standards, I'm not good enough. I think that is a recipe for disaster if you think like me! Is that what hinders us from asking for help....judgement?
It is not just this conversation today but others....where it crossed my mind. Who am I to judge their decisions, their choices, their life?
Until you are walking their path, you can never know what choice you would make.
"Shelfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" ~Oscar Wilde