deposit please

We do not remember days; we remember moments.  ~Cesare Pavese


Sometimes I like to think that the stars align just perfectly which results in a moment (or a day) that was just "suppose" to be. Like before the creation of the universe someone up above knew on this date exactly what was going to happen.

We have created a little incentive program for Cohen to keep his motivation. The incentives that he is working toward were decided upon by him *bowling, ice cream, swimming at the aquatic center and just a day with mom* When he got to arrange the order of said incentives he put *day with mom* first.  Last week he earned his first incentive, to which I had no idea what we were going to do.

Several ideas were tossed around but nothing really "fit."  We talked about boo at the zoo and on Sunday I even said too bad I couldn't get tickets to take him to a Husker Football game!

That would be awesome and Mark replied "where would you get tickets now and how much would you have to pay for them at this point?!" and I thought "yeah he's right." 

That takes me to Thursday when I see a post on Facebook {from Wednesday already} about someone whose co-worker had tickets to sell. It was long shot since it had been posted for awhile but I sent a message and the tickets were still avaliable and for face value,what are the odds of this! Rare, but we'll take them. On a spontaneous whim I said "YES!"

Bright and early Cohen and I ventured out to Lincoln! 

He was in awe

  {well so was I, I got us there and parked on my own! AMAZING! *SMILE} 

We had a great time before the game!

Grandpa slipped him some cash

and he picked out a shiny new Husker football that we played catch with on the practice field!

I think if we would have gone home at this point he would have still called it a good day!

I would have loved to seen what we looked like playing catch because I was holding my camara, my clutch, his skull and cross bones balloon while trying to throw and catch the shiny (aka slippery) football!  I am positive it looked pretty comical!

I was feeling pretty good about things until

about half way through the 2nd Quarter when he says

"this is boring. I wish I stayed at Grandma's" 

I had some censored thoughts that I spared him and you!

We headed out to get a snack and a pop to kick off the 3rd quarter

and that must have been just what he needed.

We yelled when the defense was on....."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

and jumped up and down when they scored.

I took pictures!

Cohen took pictures!

By the time the 4th quarter rolled around Cohen said "this is the best day ever!"  

We had a blast!

Thank you Husker Football...

I like to think I just made a deposit in his memory bank that is going to saved for a life time.

lullaby

Someone commented "you're a super mom" and I thought to myself...."whatever."

You see I tend to want to write about the good stuff.

I tend to want to capture the "fluff."

I need to capture the fluff..not for you but for me.
I have to force myself to stop.
Be present.
Recall
and store that fluff in my memory bank.

*Although I have captured some very non-fluff moments too

I tend to want to remember the happy times.

The good stuff.

The fluff.

Today was a long day (one of many) and today is not a day I tend to want to capture in my memory bank. Today I saw Cohen for probably 30 minutes (I may be on the optimistic side) and Kadence for an hour or so (which was primarily in the car)

By the time I got home Cohen was sleeping

and Kadence was wandering out of her bed
and by the look on Mark's face it was for the umpteenth time I am sure.

I put my things down on the floor right next to the front door, picked her up, walked her to bed,

and we rocked on the edge of her bed for 20 minutes

until she closed the big blue eyes to dream another night away.

I didn't sit there and rock her because she needed me to.

I sat there and rocked her because I needed to.

In those few intimate moments without any words exchanged

a conversation transpired:

she said I needed you

and I said I'm sorry I wasn't there.

I'm sorry you didn't have a mom today.

I'm sorry mom put so much before you today.

She nestled in with her blanket saying

It's alright. You're here now.

and I know.

I know you love me.

When I think about it.

Really think about it.

We could all learn a great deal about unconditional love from our babies, couldn't we?!

Solid Advice

“Pour yourself a drink,

put on some lipstick,

and pull yourself together.”

Elizabeth Taylor

Solid Advice.

Solid Advice Indeed.

(where has this quote been my whole life?!)

That's all for today!

“Pour yourself a drink,

put on some lipstick,

and pull yourself together.”

Elizabeth Taylor

Surrender

If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.  ~Toni Morrison

Sometimes I am reminded at how quickly time passes by,

which means I am again reminded at how quickly my kids will grow up.

I like to plan. I am a planner. Spontaneous is good in theory but hard for me to follow thru on.

Lately it seemed that everyday life, responsibilities, to do lists; seemed to be dominating

over the need to capitalize on their childhoods before they vanish.

Spontaneously I took the day off Friday, as Cohen did not have school,

and Thursday night we made a  rather quick trip to CoCo Keys in Omaha

just to swim and come back home!

The kids had a great time
and it was almost more fun for me
to see their surprised little faces when we told them!

Everyday I am reminded about how harsh reality can be.

How brutal life can be.

How many times we try only to fail and try again....

There will always be another "race" to run

another benchmark to acheive

another report due

There will always be more to do...

more that we should've done...

It is so rewarding to shut out all of that for a few moments

and just be.

Laugh.

Love.

Live.

To stop and really be present.

The world and its realities will always be out there waiting for us.....

but sometimes we just have to tell the world to wait for awhile.

We have to survive the realities of life

this is true...

but we don't have to surrender to them!

 I was driving into town today after some farming ride alongs...and this captured my attention.

It is "just" town..I know...

but there was something so calming and safe about it.

Then I realized....

It's home.