Sunday, February 27, 2011

Adios February

Goodbye February (and $700).
It's been a rough month around here with almost every weekend being consumed with germs and illness
(and doctors hence the $700).

We are hoping to bring March in on a bit happier (& healthier) note!

This weekend has been a nice balance between family time and chore time.

chips, carrots, broccoli, green beans {cheese} and chicken

The other day I ran across an idea called "muffin tin meals" or something like that. Friday I happen to have some excesses dipping cheese{thank you fb friends for your assistance!} and on a whim tried our very first Muffin tin meal.

It was fun and the kids enjoyed it! I think we may give this muffin tin meal thing a try more often! The lady I was reading about picks a theme like color or shapes and then each tin goes with the theme! Our theme around here would tend to center around dips! Maybe ranch next time! {smile!}

It has been a perfectly ordinary weekend.

and I love that.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are… Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.
- Mary Jean Iron

By far my most favorite quote, so it can't hurt to revisit it every now and again right!

Kadence has been giving Cohen a ton of hugs this weekend and she had just got done giving him one and he was going to walk away...apparently she wasn't done yet! She so gave him the look! Hilarious!

Sometimes the extraordinary is the ordinary!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

fine print

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. ~Kenji Miyazawa

The turning point in the process of growing up
 is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. ~Max Lerner

I could launch into one heck of a story tonight but I'm tired and surely sometimes you must think I share too much!

Do you ever stop to wonder what if you had read the "fine print" before signing onto this voyage of motherhood?

Would you still have signed up?

I like to tell myself that even if I read the fine print, I would have bravely stepped up to the task at hand
{but would I have really? Would you have? really? If someone spelled it all out beforehand?

My children are wonderful and inspiring and great but that doesn't mean "easy."

That means there is a lot of "fine print"
{yes in deed there is a lot of the good advertised stuff too!}

That means there are a whole heck of a lot of life lessons ~ for me {and them} but mostly me I think!

Today has been a day of....."growth"

Growth is a positive phrase for life lesson I suppose. Teaching moment.  Parenting.
Call it what you want, it's hard.

Somewhere inside I know that with growth comes pain and struggles.

Somewhere inside I know that it's not good  if we don't struggle and grow to be better.

But somewhere inside I hate all the "fine print" that surfaced the day I became a mom and more than that I hate the "fine print" that we're "not suppose" to talk about!

We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. ~Frank A. Clark

We go along doing our best and it just takes a moment or a seed of doubt to send us into worry.

Balance again.

Welcome to motherhood.
It's a process.

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.
A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
~Sophia Loren

Sunday, February 20, 2011

From one to the next

I finally got Kadence's photo album done just in time to start Cohen's!

Cohen and I were laying in bed discussing his birthday when we decided to make a list together of things he might be interested in for his birthday. It was too innocent and marvelous to not share:
{In his words and the order we wrote them together.}
#1 a new battery for my 4 wheeler
#2 an alarm clock so I know when to get up
#3 maybe a coocoo clock so I always know what time it is
#4 a light bulb for my bedroom, I noticed it is not as bright as sometimes
#5 some new shades for my windows because sometimes light gets in my eyes when I'm sleeping.
#6 a monkey backpack, like those ones with the leash, so I could be like your dog.
#7 this wheel trailer thing I could use by my bed. It's at O Reilly's umm you can't see it from your car but its right by the door when you go in.  Oh yeah and I think that O Reilly's has lots of batteries that might go in my 4wheeler because I saw them there
#8 Big Monster Truck
#9 DSI
#10 little hotwheel car
#11 Super Mario for my Wii
#12 sunglasses because my other ones got broken
and maybe the last number would be that we could just always stay together.

Man I love that kid.

Friday, February 18, 2011

"Stop doing"

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill 

Today I heard an idea and it leaves me pondering...

The idea:

One should make a "stop doing" list instead of a to do list because it takes more self discipline.

This perplexes me and leaves me compelled to try making a "stop doing" list.
Here is my first crack at a "stop doing" list

My plan is to stop doing this:

1. Apologizing for my house
          {I have kids! I work full time! If your socks stick to the kitchen floor
and you don't like it, get a rag and wipe it up}

2. Rushing.
          {I am in a hurry 24/7, even when there is no hurry I hurry}

3. Saying to my kids in the morning "Come on, hurry up we're going to be late."
          {because of the fact that I say it every morning,
it has no meaning or effect except to turn the morning negative, so I need to stop that}

4.Stealing my favorite candies from my kids when they're not looking & then blaming it on dad..."Gee I don't know I think your dad ate it! We're gonna have to talk to him when he gets home!"
{I can't help it!}

Hmmm that is a start, I sit here thinking of a few others,
but I am thinking those may be a good place to start.

Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene. ~Arthur Christopher Benson

If you made a "stop doing" list what would be on it?

Always walk through life as if you have something new to learn and you will. ~Vernon Howard

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

We're even

 I do believe that Kadence got "even" for me neglecting to get the flu shots.
As I was signing us into the doctor's office, with a very full waiting room,
she puked, down my shirt,
dripping down my pants...

We hustled to the bathroom and I thought she was done
and then
she puked
curdled milk all over the bathroom floor.
You know for certain you are a mom when you can wipe puke off your child, your shirt and pants with a not absorbent bathroom paper towel.
Then proceed to not think twice and just wipe that puke right off the bathroom floor with a few more not absorbent paper towels!
Wash hands
Take a deep breath
Step back out into the crowded waiting room
Head held high thinking maybe I was lighting speed fast and no one noticed
and then I see it...
The pile of vomit on the rug in front of the check in spot.
I am just wondering did no one go up to the lady at the desk and say hey some girl just puked on the floor...
So I walk up to the desk and explain
and ta daaa
we get a room right away.
That is the one perk of having vomit on your shirt!

After a hefty dose of mom guilt
a side of tamiflu
and Clorox,
we are hoping to rid our house of influenza A.
I walked by the kitchen counter yesterday and thought to myself now I could not have posed that any better if I had been trying! Classic!

Yesterday Kadence was so lethargic.
She and I pretty much either sat in the chair or laid on the couch all day.
{She felt miserable but it was kind of nice to snuggle for a while with such a usually busy little girl}
She took a long nap in the afternoon and when she woke up she said "cereal" "open ye-son {season}"
 I kept asking her "Kadence do you want to go rock with mommy?" and she would shake her head no.

"Kadence do you want mommy to turn Open Season on in the living room?  Shake her head "no"

I did shortly convince her to come rock with mommy. She was so wiped out yesterday.
The pictures just don't even do it justice, but I felt mean if I snapped anymore.
She felt horrible!

We fought a fever all night101 to 102.5 give or take.

Then she wakes up this morning asking to play playdough
and she looks more like this:

I am not sure what was in the tamiflu but I am a walking free advertisement. 
She is very congested but the fever seems to be gone
{for now, I hate to jinx it!}
I have no idea how a child can go from the first pictures to this in about 12 hours but I will so take it
and I will be thankful!
{in fact I thought she was sleeping but I think I hear noise coming from her room....yup she's back!}
Here's hoping that it stays up hill from here!

Lets see that again....12 hours difference between this pictures!!  CRAZY

Monday, February 14, 2011

first question

“It is difficult to say who do you the most harm: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best” Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

So we're up tonight (okay well I am the only one up anymore)
3:30am- "mom! I go potty!"  One touch and I know she's on fire.
3:32- Motrin, temp 102+
3:45-puked up the Motrin
4:15-fever seems down a smidge {she is refusing to let me take it again} and she tells me to "get out nanence's bed mom."

Hypochondriac mom was on to something.

I am horrible. 
 I know the first question they will ask tomorrow is
"did she get a flu shot?"
and how do you look at her so miserable and say "well...we did every other year, but no, I meant to, but I was really busy."  

I can't sleep.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

And so it goes

Hypochondriac mom is coming out in full force!

We have had our fair share of sickness just recently
and we joked about not going to urgent care again this weekend......

This weekend has been great!

I promised myself to not get all caught up in the house "stuff" and to just go with the flow, which requires some self talk but so far I have pulled off a nice balance {in my mind anyways}

we have had some very nice family time together.
We've played outside, went to a basketball game and even went bowling!
This morning was just like the icing on the cake as the kids climbed in bed with us at about 8 {amazing}
and we laid around in there until after 9{again amazing!} It was story book people...
 I was thinking to myself what a wonderful weekend....and then...

Hmm "Does Kadence feel warm to you??!" Comes out of my mouth! She is still on antibiotics for the strep throat, so I try to convince myself that she does not feel warm.....then a phone call from someone who Kadence would have seen this week, that states their kid has influenza A. {There are a lot of cases around right now not just them}

Insert here: I had influenza A in college. It was horrible and awful and miserable and I would not wish it on anyone. Ever since then I have always gotten a flu shot! My kids have always gotten flu shots...until this year. This fall/early winter was uber busy and somehow I just didn't find the time.

 So after the above phone call I feel Kadence again and I am thinking yeah maybe a little warm. Yes sure enough 99.9 and I lay her down for a nap and she falls asleep! (SHE FALLS ASLEEP!! oh no! I mean yes I realize I was laying her down for a nap so falling asleep is what is suppose to happen but she usually fights sleeping like a mad woman! and she just fell asleep....sigh)

SO now she sleeps and I sit her stewing on why she would have a low grade temp, as she is still taking antibiotics twice a day...
so hypochondriac mom has already diagnosed her with Influenza A and really wants to call the on call doctor! 
Self talking right now......

she said she was feeding her fishys!

Here's to hoping for the best and expecting the worse....that's where I am now! OH MAN!!!!

Ironic that my post from Friday is about mom guilt 'cause guess what is going to kick in full force if Kadence gets influenza A because I was "soooo busy"{sarcastic tone} and put work ahead of my children's health!

and so it we wait.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Growing is possible

“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” ~Guillaume Apollinaire

This weekend it is my goal to pause and just be happy.

We'll see what happens! If I write it down it tends to be more effective so I write this with high hopes!

There was recurrent theme this week around moms and mom guilt.

My favorite blog touched on it :
"It will be a repeated declaration here, something I will continue to remind myself to do by typing the words, and I'll feel good just by saying it. I'll celebrate triumphantly when I've had a nice stretch of days completely aware and undistracted and yet I know I'll have days where I'll feel guilty for multi-tasking and spending too much time checking e-mails or planning what we'll do next. I think the see-saw of being fully present and reminding myself to be is good though.
But I think that tiny uncomfortable feeling of guilt that arises when we feel we could have done better is good too. Because what follows it is the best of the best, Baby--the full-dose, the first fruits. If we've already arrived, we have no place to go. But if we, for just a moment, feel like we might have slipped, how amazing are those next efforts, eh?
My sister and I recently discussed the presence of fear because it seems everyone wants to be fearless these days. Don't get me wrong--I want to be a badass. But, as my sister said, "A little bit of fear is good. Without it, we'd get into a lot of trouble." I thought about it, and she's right. Fear and guilt and all those bad emotions we think we, as moms, are supposed to detox out aren't always so bad. Sometimes they govern good. And, while I ultimately seek a beautiful world of balance, until then, I will use a good occasional dose of guilt to propel me to deliver the best of the best. Ebb and Flow. One step back and three badass steps forward." Kelly Hampton

My week started with those words and the conversations I had with other moms this week really centered on that balance and the guilt in between.  I've been there ya know. I've been the mom that I am proud of. The mom that I hope to be, but I've also been the type of mom I would never want to be. The kind that yells too quickly, speaks to harshly, sits too long absorbed in my own thing wishing the kids could go to bed just a little sooner.  I've been the mom who desperately wishes she could have more time with her kids and I've been the mom who thinks she cannot spend another minute alone with my kids.

I am not sure what makes a "good" mom. I am not sure that I can ever live up to this illusive, undefined, definition of what I think I "should" be.  Maybe that is okay. I am going to go out on a limb here and so no one probably ever does. 

I think what I am most amazed by is that I have some great friends who I trust with most anything.
These same friends can be brutally honest at times about their own lives.
It is in those moments, those brutally honest moments, that we are able to realize that we are the same.
We are all trying our best, sometimes succeeding and sometimes failing miserably...but that's the thing society seems to put this golden standard out there and every mom {who is willing to be honest and chat with me}admits they think they are failing at some point....and that makes me sad. It is hard because sometimes we may run into another mom and think "man they got it together and look what they are doing for their kids and...." There is like this sick unspoken competition between moms and I just really despise that. It is inevitable I realize but I don't like it. The thing is we may compare ourselves but unless "that" mom is in your inner circle you may think she's got it all pulled together but in all likely hood she probably has some doubt and mom guilt of her own. {Or at least I telling myself that to make myself feel better!}

I am starting to wonder if in those moments of doubt if that isn't where the difference lies between "good" parent and not.
That maybe "Good" parent doesn't mean perfect.
That maybe "good" parent doesn't even mean without doubt. 
Maybe "good" parent means that sometimes you are going to mess up,
but the fact that it causes you to lose sleep means you care.
You want to do better.
You have motivation to do better and you get up and try again. 
You try again to do it better than you did last time...
and maybe that moment is the defining moment for "good" parent. 

One of the greatest blessing for me and keeping my sanity {okay I realize that is debatable but whatever}is the fact that I have been blessed with friends who will say it like it is...thru the good, the bad, and even the ugly because without that I would feel pretty alone.

This parenting thing is a process...just as the kids are growing so are we!
A good parent is parent who continues to grow.

 I am far from perfect. I am not pretending this is easy.
Sometime I rock!
Sometimes I nail it!
Sometimes I fail.
Sometimes I am selfish and not attentive.
Sometimes I leave my house in shambles.
 but I can grow....growing is possible.
Perfection is an illusion.

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one” - Jill Churchill

So I can't help but repeat:

“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” ~Guillaume Apollinaire

Sidenotes: 1. Click on the link below to read posts from a Columbus Medical Mission Team. Very Interesting!
2. I recently realized that in the midst of the crazy work schedule I had this late fall I neglected to capture a winter list and that makes me a little sad.  In fact I even went back through old posts trying to find it! {which sort of makes me chuckle!}  I may have to start dreaming about spring...but feel compelled to create a late winter short list, but when I sat down to do it....nothin'.  What is this world coming to?!?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Raise your glass

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. ~P.J. O'Rourke

This quote is so true! I am so excited!

I know I've said it before but I love my friends.
Tomorrow is my night to host "RHM," which has now been in operation over 4 years! {I think}

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey

Get ready to ride the bus people! he he heeeee

Tonight I am a tinge peeved off that ABC's signal appears to be out and that means no new episodes of Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice, which is a curse {but a blessing because I need to pick up before our big night tomorrow!}

The set back with the tv cannot however fade my excitement and anticipation for tomorrow!

A good friend is cheaper than therapy. ~Author Unknown
The funny thing is I haphazardly assigned myself February and a year ago I swore I would throw a "Prom" for RHM and spouses, {which of course I was not prepared to pull of this year, but swear someday I will complete it with a balloon arch and a harrowing rendition of ...and I'm climbing the stairway to heaven...but not this year,} so one night as I was walking through Wal-Mart {again with the wal-mart reference I really need to get out more!}I was talking to my sister Linda on the phone and a spark was ignited and it is about to come to fruition tomorrow evening!

The Girls better come ready to throw caution to the wind! Just sayin'.....

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

{Am just warning you that it's possible that no pics will be acceptable for posting due to content...sorry!}

Nervous Yet?!  {he he heee}

By the way...I am pulling out all the stops, Mark even mopped the floor today so your socks won't stick to it!
Oh yeah expecting nothing less than the best baby..... ; )