Thursday, January 27, 2011

dare to do great things

Don't let anyone steal your dream. It's your dream, not theirs. ~Dan Zadra

There is so much hurt in the world today.

There is so much pressure.
There are so many opportunities, yes, there are those too.

Maybe the world has always been this way and I've been blind to it all.
Seems if one looks around, at home, school, work, government,
whatever is happening according to the "world" it is not good enough.
There is so much pressure to perform from a young age, that it scares me.
We tell each other that it is okay.
We tell each other that no matter what happens as long as you (or your kids) do their best that is what matters.

We say it,
but we don't believe it.

We know the "world" doesn't see it that way
and we feel the fear attached to not living up to this elusive undefined standard.

As Kadence's celebration approaches this weekend,

I want to celebrate not just her 3 wonderful years of life, 

but celebrate every little spunky fiber of her being.

 I love her confidence.

I love her no fear approach to the world.

I love her attitude
 (well it is a love/hate relationship with the attitude lets be honest)

I love how she sings out songs even if she doesn't know the words.

She really is so amazing and wonderful.

I see those things in her now and I want to bottle them up so she can carry them with her through the years.
I want to capture that self confidence,
that assurance,
that drive to conquer the world and everything in it,
no matter how many times she has to try it,
unwilling to accept help because she knows inside she can do it if she just tries again.
I want those things that define her today to define her yet when she is 14 and some girls are poking fun at her or when she is 17 and some boy breaks her heart or when she is 30 something and balancing work and family.

As she blows out her candles Saturday she will be wishing for something pink I am sure....
but I will be wishing for a way ~ for her~ a girl in the world today
~full of messages of not good enough, pressures, standards, and hurt~
to bottle up those characteristics that define her today so she can rise above "the world"
and continue to believe inside that she is "good enough."

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955

I brought you into this world and will do my best to help you "fight" the good "fight" my dear.
It is a big task in front of us...finding the way in this world
but I promise I will strive to provide you with the roots you need today
so that you find your wings and have the courage to dare to do great things.
Yes, there is a lot of hurt in the world today,
but I can't help believe with every fiber of my being
that it is still a wonderful place
and life is full of happiness,
sometimes you just have to be willing to see it first.
Happy 3rd Birthday!

Sunday, January 23, 2011


So I have lots of thoughts but seems there is not enough time to capture them into words
so for now.
My Tribute to my spirited now 3 year old!

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
~Stacia Tauscher

{tips for your viewing pleasure...scroll down and click pause at the bottom on the playlist or 2 songs are going to play. Once you click play you can click the 4 arrows in the right corner of the video to make it bigger if you so desire}

Thursday, January 6, 2011

You know the feeling

I feel a bit like I'm drowning,
maybe more on the verge of drowning,
where the life raft is always just one arms length out, so close....
I teeter on the edge. 
I am conscious of the fact that when on the edge
 the only factor that impacts whether or not you kick it in the ass and grab that raft with both hands or slowly watch it fade in the distance is your {or shall I say my} very own inner self.

In an attempt to kick myself in the ass, and consider this life raft an adventure
(I mean some people pay for crazy adventure crap am I right?!)
I wasn't going to share, because who admits to having this moment but 
I must share this slightly embarrassing story because 
1. we married folk don't talk much about this
2. I was totally cracked up with myself

A few days ago I was in Wal-mart.
Normal stop.
In a hurry.
Grab a cart.
Get what you can and get out.
That sounds about like a normal trip to Walmart to me.

I met the same {kind of cute} guy in several different isles and made eye contact each time
{I don't know why. Just did. Did I imagine it...I don't know. Whatever don't kill my story here}
So by the time we passed in front of the apple juice, I got the vibe.
You know the one right?
I was like "he is totally checking me out." "Oh my God"
{Now of course I have no idea if he really was or not but whatever in my mind I was totally thinking he was. Sometimes a girl just needs to know she's still got it right? Married or not. Okay some of you are probably praying for me right now but whatever you know you've had "the moment" you just won't admit it}
 Okay so moving on.
Before I even consciously know I am doing it
I am walking a little straighter
{which when I realized that I was having a little chuckle with myself}
Low and behold we meet again at the lettuce and I was like
"Oh yeah he is SO checking me out"
I proceeded straight from the lettuce to the check out,
still walking pretty darn tall.....
when I reached in the cart I realized that my hood (that must button on my coat)
was all but hanging on by one button and was all cockeyed hanging down my one arm like some tumor and Kadence's glove was partially hanging out my pocket on the other side!

Alright so I admit I've gained some weight and by all means am not a beauty queen,
but surely he was checking me out right?
AND not because I had some growth of a hood hanging all weird down one arm, but from my stunning
I've birthed two children, womanly looks...right? 

{whatever! Like I cared anyways. I don't need some random walmart guy to check me out to feel good about myself.
yeah. What~Eva}

I was just having my own make believe moment.
{so I must know am I alone on this one?}
Was it a little immature? Sure
A little inappropriate? Sure
Was it real? Who cares
It has made me smile for 3 days now.
Just the fact that I noticed I was walking a little taller
inside while I had some growth hanging from my coat
makes me laugh every time.

See when I sat down to write this I was all cranky and now I am smiling again, because sometimes life is immature,
inappropriate, funny, and invigorating
just when you need a moment. 

GO out and have a moment people!
Feel the vibe
{insert smile with food in teeth here}

Sunday, January 2, 2011

a stirring within

I start with this.

I have no idea where this is going. 

I have this urge to write tonight, but know not what about.

I feel like I am embarking not just on a new year but on a new me.

I am having a hard time taking this unknown vibe and interpreting it into words here.

I can't say that I know why I feel that way or what those changes will even be.

I don't know.

I am almost scared to write it if the truth will evaporate when spoken.

2011 is going to be a defining year

I can feel it.

This is a bit frightening and invigorating all at once.

I just realized now, as I am trying to make sense of this weird feeling stirring within,
that in 2011
I will have a 3 yr old and at 6 yr old.
I will turn 33.
I will have been married for 9 years.
I will have been out of high school for 15 years.
{all multiples of three}

I am not really a superstitious person
but for some reason
I have goosebumps.

Yes 2011 is going to be a defining year,

I just hope I have what it takes to experience and grow from all it has to offer.

Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded! ~Ralph Waldo Emerson