tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41676764893210383642024-03-05T12:28:37.092-06:00We come with beautiful secretsJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.comBlogger217125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-47726087673890722922019-06-09T21:12:00.001-05:002019-06-10T09:30:32.111-05:00Middle School Mission Trip-<div style="text-align: center;">
Middle school mission trip, to you that may sound questionable, to me it sounded like an opportunity. When I heard it was to Pine Ridge SD, I knew Cohen needed to go. All of us need to see life outside of our bubble, to see life struggles different than ours. </div>
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We had been talking about bucket lists in the office when the email arrived, looking for sponsors. I have had "go on a mission trip" on my bucket list, well since I first made a bucket list. We had been having quite the conversation in the office so on a whim and with my co-workers nudging I volunteered. Since there is no thing as a coincidence, I had to roll with this right? </div>
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As the week got closer I got a little more anxiety. What had I done?! Construction {which is what we would be doing} I have little to offer, middle school kids {not really my thing}, leading group prayer {not my thing either} this could be bad! </div>
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The week of the trip, an email came out that said no phones. My first thought was perfect, kids don't need their phones. We will busy enough and it will be a good break from life. Until I remembered that I would be driving 4 middle school boys 6 hours in a mini van with no phones. </div>
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Yeah let that sink in.</div>
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We did just fine. </div>
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Pipe cleaners for the win. </div>
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After a 6 hour drive we finally arrived and when we pulled in my anxiety was, well, shall we say a little higher. </div>
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The staff greeted us and showed us toward the bunk house, where we would be staying for the week. </div>
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There were a couple other groups there who had arrived prior to us, so most the bunks were already taken. Every bed in the bunk house was full. That's about 30 girls in one bunk house. Yeah fully let that sink in. I was lucky to get a bottom bunk! Michelle was stuck on top!</div>
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It was about that this point that I was self talking pretty hard. </div>
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We headed out for supper and evening worship, and as always, God found his way to shine through. Just a moment of, it's going to be ok. </div>
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Some information about Pine Ridge:</div>
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<li style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666;">The infant mortality rate is five times higher than the United States national average. </li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666;">More than 4.5 million cans of beers are sold annually in White Clay, Nebraska, just over the border from the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. This amounts to more than 12,500 cans of beer a day. The reservation itself is dry. </li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666;">Life expectancy on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the lowest in the United States—twenty years less than communities just 400 miles away—and on par with the countries of India, Sudan and Iraq. </li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 16px;">The average life expectancy on Pine Ridge is 66.81 years, the lowest in the United States.</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 16px;"> Other statistics, attributed to the Pine Ridge hospital, cite an average life expectancy for men of just 47 years. Women fare slightly better, with an average life expectancy of 55 years.</span></span></li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666;">80 percent of residents are unemployed.</li>
<li style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666;">it the second poorest county in the United States</li>
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Day #1</div>
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Job Site </div>
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Our group was given the task of starting a 9 ft addition to one of the bigger/nicer churches. It was out in the country just a little past Wounded Knee, by Porcupine. </div>
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The Pastor, Dave and his family, lived on the same property. The kids got to meet Ezra, Dave's son, who also happens to have autism. He would come and check on us or yell greetings our way. The church currently does not have running water. On day 1, we had 2 tasks, dig the post holes needed for the addition and find the water line aka dig, dig holes. </div>
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The kids jumped right into action. </div>
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We did find the water line, when it burst. Things on the reservation are just different than our every day life. After trying to figure out how to shut off the water supply on our own, the water company was called. </div>
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It took just over two hours for them to arrive, so the water just kept on flowing out! </div>
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The kids felt pretty upset by it. The family went without water over night! I spoke with Ella, Dave's wife, and she said a water main broke a couple miles down, a little while back, and they went without water for about two weeks. The Next Steps staff (our organization) stayed and repaired the water line that night. We were so thankful they had water back the next day! Apparently the original water pipe was a single walled pvc pipe (not intended for underground plumbing) that may have been part of why it virtually exploded when uncovered. </div>
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The blessing in the water line breaking was...we didn't have access to any water to make the concrete for the post holes. We were able to capture some flowing water and hand mix concrete to pour in the post holes while waiting for the water company to arrive. </div>
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I had Cohen capture this photo for all my Early Intervention/Early Childhood cohorts. We drove past Head Start/Early Head Start everyday. Can you see the fencing? It's like prison fencing with 3 rows of barbed wire on top. There was another playground we drove by that had the same fencing. </div>
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We visited/toured Wounded Knee in the late afternoon.</div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; text-align: left;">The </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold; text-align: left;">Wounded Knee Massacre</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small; text-align: left;"> occurred on December 29, 1890, near Wounded Knee Creek on the Lakota Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Approximately 300 men, women, and children of the Lakota had been killed by the US Forces. </span></span></div>
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Day #2</div>
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Task: Dig a 4.5 foot deep trench about 30 feet down the side of the church so they can have water to add a bathroom. </div>
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....and then fill that 30 foot trench back in. That seemed simple until we realized some of our dirt from the trench washed away when the water was running the day before. </div>
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Day 2 was a bit shorter of a work day due to programming that night. We left our work site, to drive to a nearby scenic overlook and do our lunch time devotional. </div>
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Our speaker Tuesday night was a lady named Ruby. She is 75 years old and lives in a trailer on the reservation. She tries to feed 85-100 homeless people every Tuesday and Thursday on her own. She also helps with the youth on the reservation. She talked to the kids about the struggles she sees and how the Lord helps her to serve her people. She stayed around after her talk and supper was over. A little while later we looked over and there was a group of our kids sitting around Ruby asking questions and learning even more. I didn't snag a picture because it seemed disrespectful but it was a neat moment.</div>
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Day #3</div>
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Task: Set the poles</div>
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Day 3 was hot. </div>
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To be honest Day 3 was about when I realized, I really love ice and cold things. I mean we had gone since Sunday without ice in any drinks. Sacrifice. ha. Day 3 was full sun and hot. I really wanted ice in my water, not so much luke warm water anymore.</div>
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I mean it was no coincidence that the lunch devotional was about sacrificing. =)</div>
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With all the digging, we got some dirt got into our post holes. We didn't have any tools to get the dirt out so we had to improvise. </div>
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Once the holes were cleaned out it was time to set the poles. We had 5 to set total. Cohen said they weighed 180lbs each. I can't remember, however they were heavy! </div>
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That took us the rest of the day to get them accurately measured and leveled! There aren't any other pictures from that work day as it was all hands on deck to get them up! </div>
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Did I mention it was hot? At one point, as we were sweating, Ezra yelled down to us "I'm playing in the sprinkler!" We all laughed and actually the kids cheered as that meant the water was back on! </div>
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On our way home the boys spotted this homemade ferris wheel/zipper thing and they thought it was pretty awesome.</div>
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The evenings cooled off and were just beautiful. This is back at Lakota Hope, where we stayed. The kids were asked to think about a burden they carry, a sin they hold onto in their heart, and they literally wrote them down and nailed them to a cross. I missed part of the programming as Cohen was suffering a bit from heat exhaustion (head ache/nausea.) He was such a hard worker the whole week. He gave 100%. As the evening went on he was feeling sicker and sicker and I realized I wasn't paying much attention to if he ever stood in the little shade we had. I had filled Luke's water bottle and I had asked Gavin if he reapplied his sunscreen but had not checked on Cohen at all. </div>
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Day #4</div>
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Cohen woke up feeling much better! Yay! </div>
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It was time to finish up what we could do at the work site. </div>
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We got to learn how to use a laser level. The leader in this picture is Adam. He was our leader for the week. A 21 year old from Texas. The kids LOVED him. He did a fantastic job of teaching the kids (and maybe me) how to do what we needed to do. He was patient and handled a few mistakes such as the water line breaking and a drill bit being dropped down the pole hole, with grace. Adam was also dyslexic...because God works in wonderful ways. </div>
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We ended our work site on time or slightly ahead since the water line was ran already. This was our last day of work and Pastor Dave, his wife, Ella, and Ezra came down and talked to the group about the impact their work will have not only on their lives but on the lives of others for years to come. Pastor Dave shared that the water line breaking was actually God working in mysterious ways as we were able to run the new water line without doing "a lot of paper work" that he would have had to do otherwise!! Yay! Pastor Dave prayed for us and then we prayed for them. </div>
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It was such a moving moment. </div>
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The kids were cleaning up and found a bat and a softball so we took advantage of a little break! </div>
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That evening the boys and a leader named Ben faced off in a "hammer off" </div>
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I am pretty sure they would have done this for hours. </div>
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During programming this night the kids were asked to write down something they can do to focus more on Christ when they get home. In our groups, the kids could read their statement out loud and then the other kids prayed over them. </div>
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We have amazing kids. </div>
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Last day! </div>
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We stopped off at Smith Falls on our way home for a little exploring and fun. </div>
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This is Michelle, the other sponsor, besides Pastor Brandon. She is a wonderful person and I am so blessed to have gotten to spend so much time with her. We should all be a little more like Michelle. </div>
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...and these boys. I mean seriously. A few years ago I said out loud, I think if I could just skip the whole middle school phase that would be ok. A wise parent told me "you grow into it." </div>
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The whole group of kids we had were outstanding. They all worked hard. Hardly complained and survived a week with no phone. It was so good....but these boys. Man. I was not just impressed but I was humbled. They are kind. Hard working. Thoughtful. I did not just "survive" the trip. I truly enjoyed spending time with them. </div>
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I hope all we learned and all we prayed for stays in their hearts.</div>
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The boys' song all week was Lost Boy. </div>
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I don't know why for sure, but it was pretty funny to hear them belt it out. </div>
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I think this picture pretty much sums it up.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh4JvrCPZd-Fy9VmhdPtAoKcS6OsIxZU0KQFu3Hx8kAE3gQcmiT5c3uSXlRSYtKuBV4-8nvJm2-5dBKx7fDu7C6Zei05f7caUE-KDf_woxKGRek8kuOSCdWPLXn1WZDfkkkFv0J3yvidMP/s1600/mt57.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh4JvrCPZd-Fy9VmhdPtAoKcS6OsIxZU0KQFu3Hx8kAE3gQcmiT5c3uSXlRSYtKuBV4-8nvJm2-5dBKx7fDu7C6Zei05f7caUE-KDf_woxKGRek8kuOSCdWPLXn1WZDfkkkFv0J3yvidMP/s640/mt57.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div>
<g-expandable-content aria-hidden="false" class="PZPZlf kno-fb-ctx r-iAEpCInsFg9w" data-eb="0" data-lyricid="Lyricfind002-1397892" data-mt="0" jsl="$t t-mrrOl6lxOK8;$x 0;" jsname="YyJftb" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: block; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; transition: none 0s ease 0s;"></g-expandable-content><br />
<div jsname="U8S5sf">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me</div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">You have been so, so good to me</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
You have been so, so kind to me</div>
</span></div>
<div class="secrsf" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God</div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah</div>
</span></div>
<div class="secrsf" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me</div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">You have been so, so good to me</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
You have been so, so kind to me</div>
</span></div>
<div class="secrsf" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God</div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">And I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah</div>
</span></div>
<div class="secrsf" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
There's no shadow You won't light up</div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Mountain You won't climb up</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Coming after me</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no wall You won't kick down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Lie You won't tear down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no shadow You won't light up</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Mountain You won't climb up</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no wall You won't kick down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Lie You won't tear down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no shadow You won't light up</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Mountain You won't climb up</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no wall You won't kick down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Lie You won't tear down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no shadow You won't light up</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Mountain You won't climb up</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
There's no wall You won't kick down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Lie You won't tear down</div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Coming after me</div>
</span></div>
<div class="secrsf" jsname="U8S5sf" style="margin-top: 13px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God</div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span jsname="YS01Ge">And I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away</span></div>
<span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah</div>
</span></div>
<g-expandable-content aria-hidden="false" class="r-ivEx_qdmKsMk" data-eb="0" data-mt="0" data-ved="2ahUKEwjN3vTo3t3iAhUDYKwKHTmjCvwQycMBKAEwAXoECAgQCQ" jsl="$t t-mrrOl6lxOK8;$x 0;" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; display: block; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; transition: none 0s ease 0s;"></g-expandable-content><br />
<div class="rvntgc">
<div style="color: #70757a; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-top: 13px; text-align: center;">
Songwriters: Caleb Culver / Cory Asbury / Ran Jackson</div>
<div style="color: #70757a; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-top: 13px; text-align: center;">
Reckless Love lyrics © Bethel Music Publishing, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC</div>
<div style="color: #70757a; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; margin-top: 13px; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div>
</div>
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-68775830915804504482019-03-13T21:11:00.004-05:002019-03-13T21:20:49.013-05:00Bring on 41<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOGFhU-RIb7XRt4YhNxFUuUuGeIPXFwKS9Xyl9y7xZD24FbyY_8laNdgNJ-4WaaLHQICHdOCwmCUIfUj_K_G63pQSnM-XaA-AUAhu9kAcFPxtAdKoTflYcV623HfwMu4vv7kVJTmUlTq90/s1600/33383166_2084686494879782_2469250722231746560_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOGFhU-RIb7XRt4YhNxFUuUuGeIPXFwKS9Xyl9y7xZD24FbyY_8laNdgNJ-4WaaLHQICHdOCwmCUIfUj_K_G63pQSnM-XaA-AUAhu9kAcFPxtAdKoTflYcV623HfwMu4vv7kVJTmUlTq90/s400/33383166_2084686494879782_2469250722231746560_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
40 hasn't been too bad! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I mean there was that vertigo thing that was horrifying....</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and my thyroid quit...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
and I maybe needed a little PT for a little thing in my back...</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I'm sure that's all merely coincidental. <i>(insert big eye ball emoji here)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
A few important things. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
When I was going to turn 40 I
thought I would go somewhere. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Take a trip. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
No, not a trip. A trip seems like it
is one of those things where you are busy taking in all the sights. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I thought I
would take a vacation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
The kind where you sit around a beach and do a whole lot
of nothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Well, I never did. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
That’s
kinda how my life typically rolls out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I have lots of ideas and few of them
really surface as reality.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
However, look what my friend/backyard neighbor Wendi gave me
for my birthday. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw_SX8ALGu5FVftDmEE5qRA_X0oyOIxwZHd2z5hLLmHEeeb1OmE1D9i-Q3ayrsjt1sMro6sTXodlVFKq0pUzwb2Ml2NXa5XqudJRkkNRftQ_AHZxv8SAtPzClPcWJR0pa2vlb9wMAZ0Oo1/s1600/41-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw_SX8ALGu5FVftDmEE5qRA_X0oyOIxwZHd2z5hLLmHEeeb1OmE1D9i-Q3ayrsjt1sMro6sTXodlVFKq0pUzwb2Ml2NXa5XqudJRkkNRftQ_AHZxv8SAtPzClPcWJR0pa2vlb9wMAZ0Oo1/s640/41-1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
My very own, shall we say, tropical get away…kind of. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I mean if one
of you has some sand from your sand bags left over I could almost make myself a
beach for my 41<sup>st</sup>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
That Wendi always going above and beyond. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Ask and you shall receive they say. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
In case you missed it, it's flooding here. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Here's the current status of roads in Nebraska</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I mean it's almost like a birthday cake full of 41 candles am I right?!<br />
When I got to Columbus today there was a strong chance that I would be "flood-stranded" and here I am, home. Celebrate.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3N_oY3burKgcfJqyWGqtE39ww7ENaX7SPukeTgXz8QKLVjTtuL0wkl8q_jptMMPu8mu3fQeyJohlFGdjG243TMf6MY02vMVIjO1hVMd9-C-u6SqHM69guTJViuZaDpzNBF-lLdPoGzBPo/s1600/41-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="577" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3N_oY3burKgcfJqyWGqtE39ww7ENaX7SPukeTgXz8QKLVjTtuL0wkl8q_jptMMPu8mu3fQeyJohlFGdjG243TMf6MY02vMVIjO1hVMd9-C-u6SqHM69guTJViuZaDpzNBF-lLdPoGzBPo/s400/41-4.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Also when I turned 40 I realized I still had underwear in my
drawer from when Kadence was born. (legit) That just seems …sad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before 41 came I swore I would up my game and
own some quality pairs. (no not skimpy sexy crazy panties lets be real here.
41. 3 kids. Real life. Lets not make this awkward) I recently gave my money to soma and who knew underwear
could be so life changing. They actually stay in place. Huh! I tell you what, you cross over 40 and bam eyes wide open. Am I right?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I mean I like bucket lists, so of course, I made a: I'm 40 list. It was Random. I'll spare you the rest. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Joking aside, I put myself to a bit of a challenge this year
and have been trying to lean into this a bit:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgS1w7guxRfso618D8sicGXbs4zBjne0lGrK_RJAXhABj2ztlClfJW1oB4CAjovRhznui-elFEMw06Ro6_ZQVHpJIBt0WPLq0xdbV_cuSMm5-P60vSMGl9LPIicwgG5n1vxZgnvgtntZW/s1600/40655589_140945653525073_7986998461369318045_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="480" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgS1w7guxRfso618D8sicGXbs4zBjne0lGrK_RJAXhABj2ztlClfJW1oB4CAjovRhznui-elFEMw06Ro6_ZQVHpJIBt0WPLq0xdbV_cuSMm5-P60vSMGl9LPIicwgG5n1vxZgnvgtntZW/s400/40655589_140945653525073_7986998461369318045_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It’s been an interesting journey. That’s about all I have to
say about that for now. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Think about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Read it again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p> Let's go back to today for a minute. </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>Apparently I got to work too early. </o:p><br />
<o:p>(<i>no comment here *cough*</i>) </o:p><br />
<o:p>so they streamer-ed me in. </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>Yeah that happened. </o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
I am pretty sure it's because they like me so much and not because they were trying to keep me out or shut me up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqJngngHgwNcqYY9effbu896Ai-jca4NyjHGo50U2Kl8YwVBRK3OfC5wLTZN9t6GA2tTUy1cuQC2rMiDogoVr32KHhQ5H4MuUqRtgntSJhY63S2L4ArgK9SaOb7RZmew0b3k0TAon1_iNz/s1600/41-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="577" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqJngngHgwNcqYY9effbu896Ai-jca4NyjHGo50U2Kl8YwVBRK3OfC5wLTZN9t6GA2tTUy1cuQC2rMiDogoVr32KHhQ5H4MuUqRtgntSJhY63S2L4ArgK9SaOb7RZmew0b3k0TAon1_iNz/s640/41-5.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes you just gotta bust out of your box a little bit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Make it happen people</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
Life is short</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
who cares if the sun barely rose on your birthday, am I right?!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwieFiyFfpy1ORT-6H6Xvs1e6HyTOjD7G7DDX9Js3YLXS4uOvakKUzKX8hypTKEfK9ppfkj9lsu5Z6I8EcDYA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
There are a lot of things I wish I had. I can’t deny that. </div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
I have some pretty fantastic family and friends and in the end that's what's most valuable. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was truly humbled and honored today, by some calls and texts. To be honest, it's nice to hear it sometimes, don't we all need to hear it sometimes? It's a little like finding this rainbow in the middle of the foggy, gloomy, raining, flooding, day. Bring on Birthdays! </div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fqDiTrJYPW5RFqc84jfsuhmR0OrOWACKhQvPnfYy_aBDlqbpXyVXhCskROZHYfH-2bq62ZuSmxuQSf-iRE3aZENrEmQf1bsYGyqX0TnX9nqiOlTZl6tHIjPWJlaAFzVFtXzvRBf_3jyN/s1600/41-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9fqDiTrJYPW5RFqc84jfsuhmR0OrOWACKhQvPnfYy_aBDlqbpXyVXhCskROZHYfH-2bq62ZuSmxuQSf-iRE3aZENrEmQf1bsYGyqX0TnX9nqiOlTZl6tHIjPWJlaAFzVFtXzvRBf_3jyN/s640/41-3.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
I think life has always been about being able to find what you want, hiding in what you have.</div>
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It’s about understanding who you really are compared to who you want to be…and then challenging yourself to dare to go there.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRr3h9S_cx0HiOJrsbHaJaJyfREl6_b4Eg5N7RrSPQm5mfU7YWxc4yXaIR3FOXLWqhTfvJjdkWUol9IZBr_Wz3hL7_28CA8oiASl1tlSmlIadQiix9gFsmoE5aKVb6-DfV5SwH_I-hwAZ/s1600/19_January-Download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="979" data-original-width="1600" height="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRr3h9S_cx0HiOJrsbHaJaJyfREl6_b4Eg5N7RrSPQm5mfU7YWxc4yXaIR3FOXLWqhTfvJjdkWUol9IZBr_Wz3hL7_28CA8oiASl1tlSmlIadQiix9gFsmoE5aKVb6-DfV5SwH_I-hwAZ/s640/19_January-Download.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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What I did contribute to March 13th is this guy</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKhbXYd5dbXXEc9u8l2KDxOYdHcq4rBVQ1Lj1TsVgOxHbYGDn2Zj6rzU2wHxv6e1CeywiFSP9OOEE9qIymmCUgLOBf-eoLqlAtHdrf-P1MMEbBdV7_xNJKQFA9SEgkO8kwaxT2uvfDvFe1/s1600/41-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKhbXYd5dbXXEc9u8l2KDxOYdHcq4rBVQ1Lj1TsVgOxHbYGDn2Zj6rzU2wHxv6e1CeywiFSP9OOEE9qIymmCUgLOBf-eoLqlAtHdrf-P1MMEbBdV7_xNJKQFA9SEgkO8kwaxT2uvfDvFe1/s640/41-6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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14 years today. </div>
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The world is surely a better place with him in it. </div>
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I thought for sure I would grieve the little kid that isn't here anymore but I am enjoying </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
having a different level of conversation. He's far from perfect, but so am I. </div>
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<br /></div>
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We will be over here just living our best, non-perfect, kinda off kilter, life. </div>
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Stay tuned. </div>
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I feel like the fact that he's 14 and I'm 41, </div>
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we are in store for a great year!</div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-824134854513946222018-07-15T22:58:00.004-05:002018-07-16T06:37:12.492-05:00Good old days. <div style="text-align: center;">
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<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="176" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 12px; max-height: 176px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Never thought we'd get old, maybe we're still young</span></i></div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Maybe we always look back and think it was better than it was</span></i></i></div>
<i>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Maybe these are the moments</span></i></span></i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span></i>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Maybe I've been missing what it's about</span></i></span></i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Been scared of the future, thinking about the past</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">While missing out on now</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">We've come so far, I guess I'm proud</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">I've got some scars, I've been around</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Those good old days</span></i></div>
</span></i></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="96" data-mhc="1" jsname="U8S5sf" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 1.24; margin-bottom: 0px; max-height: 96px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">I wish somebody would have told me babe</span></i></div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Some day, these will be the good old days</span></i></i></div>
<i>
<span jsname="YS01Ge"></span></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">All the love you won't forget</span></i></span></i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"></span></i>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge"><i><span jsname="YS01Ge">And all these reckless nights you won't regret</span></i></span></i></div>
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">Someday soon, your whole life's gonna change</span></i></div>
</span><span jsname="YS01Ge"><div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span jsname="YS01Ge">You'll miss the magic of these good old days</span></i></div>
</span></i></div>
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I have had a week off and it's over. </div>
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I sit here Sunday night stalling Monday. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwinmJqvHqfGf_KZ3ZCSuV8nI-mhloO39vtljr_kuLQksIv1JilrP_YGTsXkbQZ5_534bm24g9J3_5uYe4YR6o603cPQ4M7Nj1L_0lYac_kXUQvzUvigRUy_iyuJU8VMIPb5snGkxwxym/s1600/37152658_10160621473725029_1834293979940651008_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqwinmJqvHqfGf_KZ3ZCSuV8nI-mhloO39vtljr_kuLQksIv1JilrP_YGTsXkbQZ5_534bm24g9J3_5uYe4YR6o603cPQ4M7Nj1L_0lYac_kXUQvzUvigRUy_iyuJU8VMIPb5snGkxwxym/s640/37152658_10160621473725029_1834293979940651008_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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It is safe to say we are well into our summer bucket list! </div>
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It's never too late to make your own!</div>
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Do you ever wonder what your kids will remember?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHCTPfr8WCA4-hzQ09W8xtn1Fi5qW0Sl9pjvPjIiLhwaB2hfJVbvY_VvWM4p4Epmy7PJ4cLDLC4qqHo9h0ojMZYuS532MAzKR3Pi8RlwQF6fmlCt6Xzl5zLKeOLHZlKPRcYhSc_zxdpHos/s1600/37127930_10160621473625029_4376450122754555904_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHCTPfr8WCA4-hzQ09W8xtn1Fi5qW0Sl9pjvPjIiLhwaB2hfJVbvY_VvWM4p4Epmy7PJ4cLDLC4qqHo9h0ojMZYuS532MAzKR3Pi8RlwQF6fmlCt6Xzl5zLKeOLHZlKPRcYhSc_zxdpHos/s640/37127930_10160621473625029_4376450122754555904_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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What song...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisNH-EWzfdN71RU1t-tbAareq3O9fV91RQkTbdtuMmELEzWC2zZC3YTgXthSIPpy_FKDTeUoL7Z1p5q5T08HKoy5vbvWlJAiuQK4IgJJApCU0TfoYIJOA1526eLypbM3G5ox-Tp5LJhZcQ/s1600/37186266_10160621473635029_3276336173059932160_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisNH-EWzfdN71RU1t-tbAareq3O9fV91RQkTbdtuMmELEzWC2zZC3YTgXthSIPpy_FKDTeUoL7Z1p5q5T08HKoy5vbvWlJAiuQK4IgJJApCU0TfoYIJOA1526eLypbM3G5ox-Tp5LJhZcQ/s640/37186266_10160621473635029_3276336173059932160_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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what smell....</div>
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what thought....</div>
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what sight ...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfOhpuGzQub-FFKRq3suWXPJ68qxJsJNLflI2kwL3rkswLYqXJhpN_Gl2pFfsOpLTVFaczYdfpPXMRdXMVkXIo1rPCazgAfKXCvoFXyJEEAuq1nDzPeAJtBXDUlEkgBbYGWocyJSYscaiS/s1600/37177591_10160621473545029_2548570169664339968_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfOhpuGzQub-FFKRq3suWXPJ68qxJsJNLflI2kwL3rkswLYqXJhpN_Gl2pFfsOpLTVFaczYdfpPXMRdXMVkXIo1rPCazgAfKXCvoFXyJEEAuq1nDzPeAJtBXDUlEkgBbYGWocyJSYscaiS/s640/37177591_10160621473545029_2548570169664339968_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
......will take them back to their carefree childhood and summer?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4-pPJsCCkgRIBj9laoeetwCYCKaLG0yj7pwiOhXpQGBia2DtVjk4YvMoim6bif84Go78LxBknQrGwULa26zJsOJr_WYkRw-13sG_CK2-tBpOxotS_LOJ-zjREiExXb-gAWJdzXfv7BSEe/s1600/37160961_10160621471175029_6219199772314566656_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4-pPJsCCkgRIBj9laoeetwCYCKaLG0yj7pwiOhXpQGBia2DtVjk4YvMoim6bif84Go78LxBknQrGwULa26zJsOJr_WYkRw-13sG_CK2-tBpOxotS_LOJ-zjREiExXb-gAWJdzXfv7BSEe/s640/37160961_10160621471175029_6219199772314566656_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Will it be a street dance? </div>
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<i>Will those even still exist?</i></div>
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Will it be the sound of water splashing?</div>
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The smell of chlorine?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9MU-RzlNyfetMAX1NsKz3fHDfWBJKttc-3ZXNTU6An7q2w-IVRS7r1lGUH8GnBMmM6ZJ28RkJITV-OThMSOMZMjJiIfFKod5HQTb2vFiNgp5q5s2PdLjZL08lCokmS6ZOX4GNNEzsIbvu/s1600/37226821_10160621469985029_764546557130309632_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9MU-RzlNyfetMAX1NsKz3fHDfWBJKttc-3ZXNTU6An7q2w-IVRS7r1lGUH8GnBMmM6ZJ28RkJITV-OThMSOMZMjJiIfFKod5HQTb2vFiNgp5q5s2PdLjZL08lCokmS6ZOX4GNNEzsIbvu/s640/37226821_10160621469985029_764546557130309632_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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The sight of a camper driving down the highway?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIeTS1wvANKM3L0oDALAz-rSoPfvk9DHtU0SpB_cXyCncawhbIzhFIo-d8lOerA9aHKpn6n7nt3ylBpqpj1DFKoFClJBSCDG1fD2XwyIf6kbu5QsQQmtPiFHDrRuIp8AMRmbrSIEtVYQbr/s1600/37188695_10160621473425029_4393269545398173696_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="894" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIeTS1wvANKM3L0oDALAz-rSoPfvk9DHtU0SpB_cXyCncawhbIzhFIo-d8lOerA9aHKpn6n7nt3ylBpqpj1DFKoFClJBSCDG1fD2XwyIf6kbu5QsQQmtPiFHDrRuIp8AMRmbrSIEtVYQbr/s640/37188695_10160621473425029_4393269545398173696_n.jpg" width="356" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
What stories will they remember and starting telling to their kids some day?<br />
.<i>..something about the good old days</i></div>
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What pieces will shape them into who they become?</div>
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My goal for the week was to be present</div>
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to see</div>
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to watch all the "mom watch me" moments as possible. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLAP5voJV5Ci5OoRn-BALd6VNHu6BjHhyphenhyphentZgUoOyHdBkHpbMzEIVoVaASlHzPi-1x0Athzel75DFexmWtA61-23C9P4zAQbwdbsNIdcF0Uzizdam0sS9ceCb5aU2faEt8zvResct7CKwUj/s1600/37154783_10160621473360029_6182621606028771328_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="894" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLAP5voJV5Ci5OoRn-BALd6VNHu6BjHhyphenhyphentZgUoOyHdBkHpbMzEIVoVaASlHzPi-1x0Athzel75DFexmWtA61-23C9P4zAQbwdbsNIdcF0Uzizdam0sS9ceCb5aU2faEt8zvResct7CKwUj/s640/37154783_10160621473360029_6182621606028771328_n.jpg" width="356" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
because lets be honest in the chaos I try to call our every day life being present is a challenge for me. </div>
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What I wouldn't give for another week.... </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dbupUnR2BaXmm09MmlE3jF8T2nL-Tv0ID8TzBF8Y91O0VvfEgHSEC0jiNhWp_tHRYXcVSb598cT4_4LVC0WgFt0grY-6ALqmkh8tPhj_G9V-SPbq2unEm4V2yCiAQddmKYw3S793gXvs/s1600/37305883_10160621471210029_264818440701739008_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dbupUnR2BaXmm09MmlE3jF8T2nL-Tv0ID8TzBF8Y91O0VvfEgHSEC0jiNhWp_tHRYXcVSb598cT4_4LVC0WgFt0grY-6ALqmkh8tPhj_G9V-SPbq2unEm4V2yCiAQddmKYw3S793gXvs/s640/37305883_10160621471210029_264818440701739008_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-81441280569127058172018-03-15T19:00:00.001-05:002018-03-15T19:06:59.952-05:00I think I'll take a moment celebrate my age<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I think I'll take a moment celebrate my age</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>End of an era and the turning of a page</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Now it's time to focus on where I go from here</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Lord have mercy on my next thirty years</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>~Tim McGraw My Next Thirty Years</i></div>
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This is how I feel about Cohen's birthday. <a href="https://wecomewithbeautifulsecrets.blogspot.com/2016/03/our-day-march-13th.html" target="_blank">Click Here</a><br />
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but this one is pretty spot on too! <a href="https://wecomewithbeautifulsecrets.blogspot.com/2015/03/life-should-not-only-be-lived-it-should.html" target="_blank">Click Here</a><br />
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This. Now this is true stuff. There were no birthday treats to make for school this year. *kind of sad <a href="https://wecomewithbeautifulsecrets.blogspot.com/2012/03/mother-love-fuel.html?spref=fb" target="_blank">click here</a><br />
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Cohen and I share a birthday if you haven't figured that out yet. </div>
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As of today, I have a teenager. </div>
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<i>*cough*</i></div>
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<i>..and I turned 40</i></div>
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Here are some funny messages I got today:</div>
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*You better start living it up because in 20 years your going to be 60.</div>
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*Shit just got real.</div>
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*I'm almost 40 but I still feel 20, until I hang out with some 20 year olds. Then I'm like nope, never mind, I'm 40. </div>
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I got some well wishes.<br />
*Happy Birthday Lady! Enjoy the day!</div>
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I got a couple intriguing questions such as:</div>
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<b><i>*What would you say your greatest accomplishment has been this far?</i></b></div>
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<b><i>*What do you want to accomplish in the next 10?</i></b></div>
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Well if that doesn't make your mind spin a little! </div>
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I am going to spend some time thinking about those last 2 questions. </div>
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Have you asked yourself those questions?</div>
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Wouldn't it be interesting if we all stopped once and awhile to reflect on what we have done and what we want to do! </div>
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We all know I love a bucket list...so I feel a new one coming! </div>
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It's already brewing. </div>
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Like a real vacation. </div>
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Not a trip. </div>
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A vacation. </div>
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<i>*where you get to lay around and do a lot of nothing and whatever you want mixed in</i>. </div>
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Not just tangible things, but I've been reading a book called Daring Greatly and I think I'm finding my way toward a few personal goals.</div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">40 years</span></b>.<br />
Started here</div>
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Family.<br />
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Preschool: <i>Sliding off the road in Sara's mom's car. </i><br />
<i>That's what I remember!</i><br />
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Elementary:<br />
<i>*I loved School. </i><br />
<i>I do remember in kindergarten, Cindy pulling me aside and telling me I couldn't call her Aunt Cindy at school. Andy puking on his math test got us a long recess. I would miss the buss home on purpose so I could stay and play with Tiffany and Billie Jo (shh don't tell mom). The town kids were so lucky. </i><br />
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Punk rock day for homecoming. Credit to my mom how'd she ever get my hair to do that!</div>
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<i>Ran into this lil fella. Nice hat dad. </i><br />
<i>Who did 40 better? lol!</i><br />
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High School:<br />
*I had the <b>best</b> class ever! (that is the whole class. no joke)<br />
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These girls pretty much sum up my whole childhood.<br />
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College:<br />
<i>Megan, Jen, Sam, our little burrito. The apartment dance. The power of positive thinking. The bonus board. The damn RA. Payless shoes. Truly the good 'ole days!</i><br />
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<i>Young college love</i><br />
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<i>*maybe did some learning while I was there too.</i><br />
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<i>insert the real world</i><br />
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The first "real" job. </div>
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My first office with a name plate. <i> </i><br />
<i>It used to be a closet and actually had a pipe sticking out of the wall. True story.</i></div>
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The learning curve! Wow.<br />
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Moving to Sidney to my 2nd real job. I learned so much from that team.<br />
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<i>*My last day at Beverly. (and the skirt I got written up for wearing-long story)</i></div>
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Marriage.<br />
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Trusting your new husband to pull you tubing.<br />
For the last time.<br />
Ever.<br />
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Moving back to Columbus</div>
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Buying a House.<br />
Surprising Dad at the National Senior Olympics!<br />
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A new job that I didn't understand but took anyways and I never could have imagined how much it would impact who I am as a person and who I am as a parent.<br />
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Babies.<br />
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Kids.<br />
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Probably one of the worlds greatest family photos<br />
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Now a teenager.<br />
<i>What?!</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-9_0-qEh3RKXskqDlFDHBkplybHWKVRQHAj04gstgXf6RyG9yjEo2iPviTmXkNTpLI4uR_XO5wxc9uPvIrk4uspRldmSuzndaI0J3-k_ZlC-TnHVEgxi6J8lw6zW0Wk1p0obxpqKloQi9/s1600/Callahan-71.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-9_0-qEh3RKXskqDlFDHBkplybHWKVRQHAj04gstgXf6RyG9yjEo2iPviTmXkNTpLI4uR_XO5wxc9uPvIrk4uspRldmSuzndaI0J3-k_ZlC-TnHVEgxi6J8lw6zW0Wk1p0obxpqKloQi9/s640/Callahan-71.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">True. Real. Friends. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's so lucky</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">To find these people...</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrHfBUeFlAVUvuSGNlVtky3G9HYgoDnGj3NyioDXtO1cgc4wSlxpiCcw5yxbrWKBqU50LQxJdWclZY7hkvSC7cQ4VkfQ5Xs9r8Q5x3B0HTQ8niJuqSb03A8C6bzjtbZbRdmNbz-2bOtkl9/s1600/059.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1136" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrHfBUeFlAVUvuSGNlVtky3G9HYgoDnGj3NyioDXtO1cgc4wSlxpiCcw5yxbrWKBqU50LQxJdWclZY7hkvSC7cQ4VkfQ5Xs9r8Q5x3B0HTQ8niJuqSb03A8C6bzjtbZbRdmNbz-2bOtkl9/s640/059.PNG" width="360" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghNeu4UqywaXffkuArT-Git6oz5uYvY71d2R59Sn8NnLrqv4OQUgTiJgkqohXJh5KuyULoDlx-vQQe1zEwVBhC6ZFTkPodMdz2pnxV5t7cFOkE0n3Tmm3rPJf6D1uFZ522-pxQ8CkT04sG/s1600/416.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="756" data-original-width="550" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghNeu4UqywaXffkuArT-Git6oz5uYvY71d2R59Sn8NnLrqv4OQUgTiJgkqohXJh5KuyULoDlx-vQQe1zEwVBhC6ZFTkPodMdz2pnxV5t7cFOkE0n3Tmm3rPJf6D1uFZ522-pxQ8CkT04sG/s640/416.JPG" width="464" /></a></div>
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40 years got me where I am today....<br />
..and that's good.<br />
Pretty darn good.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfWqnl_HbZPeS-HjI_b7Ng7nKAKZjOdYX-3ln2RquFOZLVbXy5Km3DzblxuTvfCEIGJFL5s1G78pNwR_rODXH1_eFryL6eUP8F5UuQmt-GblgDffyEQaOYl9udaMhoQBYWYa5v7TOW40pP/s1600/40-20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="316" data-original-width="316" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfWqnl_HbZPeS-HjI_b7Ng7nKAKZjOdYX-3ln2RquFOZLVbXy5Km3DzblxuTvfCEIGJFL5s1G78pNwR_rODXH1_eFryL6eUP8F5UuQmt-GblgDffyEQaOYl9udaMhoQBYWYa5v7TOW40pP/s400/40-20.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I need input.<br />
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If you want to weigh in on mine. I'll listen!</div>
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or tell me yours! I'll listen and learn! </div>
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<b><i>*What would you say your greatest accomplishment has been this far?</i></b></div>
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<b><i>*What do you want to accomplish in the next 10?</i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLEj1-NPvBKH32ag4nbFGqEOmxNHV0qLwMgSHrp2oGQcRUPdSR0Qq9avfapPuyRSgHc02RIDCgKjevmJgtjG8v0eDsinYA6rQFCUQJOcOT9ASkpYGZ6v6xxe2oJ9DTBaCbWjRJCQw1shds/s1600/267.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="673" data-original-width="540" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLEj1-NPvBKH32ag4nbFGqEOmxNHV0qLwMgSHrp2oGQcRUPdSR0Qq9avfapPuyRSgHc02RIDCgKjevmJgtjG8v0eDsinYA6rQFCUQJOcOT9ASkpYGZ6v6xxe2oJ9DTBaCbWjRJCQw1shds/s640/267.JPG" width="512" /></a></div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-28558611234399066192018-01-22T21:21:00.000-06:002018-01-22T21:21:10.820-06:00be still my soul <div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
I am not sure about anyone else but we <i><u>needed</u> </i>a snow day...</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP5DK0PuknWGU7aDJhkdVb49twCevoaTTPjukdzHR0LJa0O6CkqxjLDF9Y89a2SPnUNbI6uHcrg-agpA7SZEhFUdPSouad5Ep9-ptwUxU7yNSkI86a7AXEadNtUFJ6yXQjT-3RWU_xFE8b/s1600/snow+day+11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhP5DK0PuknWGU7aDJhkdVb49twCevoaTTPjukdzHR0LJa0O6CkqxjLDF9Y89a2SPnUNbI6uHcrg-agpA7SZEhFUdPSouad5Ep9-ptwUxU7yNSkI86a7AXEadNtUFJ6yXQjT-3RWU_xFE8b/s320/snow+day+11.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drift by our garage</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so thank you mother nature!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Well done!</div>
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We all camped out in the basement living room last night....</div>
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...because I just needed them close. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSBK5k8rBpjw06uho5RvIEXBJrk1ZXrAzoD4lXXPBMMcYCG52INRgv9X765EBmFxyRgW-xzk5pRuaFjlEMS4Bx0mqZazC29jXvKsmRkvMytjXOooYvZnYNnrFez89fWfs7fJarIF608iYd/s1600/snow+day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSBK5k8rBpjw06uho5RvIEXBJrk1ZXrAzoD4lXXPBMMcYCG52INRgv9X765EBmFxyRgW-xzk5pRuaFjlEMS4Bx0mqZazC29jXvKsmRkvMytjXOooYvZnYNnrFez89fWfs7fJarIF608iYd/s640/snow+day.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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A favorite quote kept coming to mind today.....</div>
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Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiixy_RVblXvS9yt2RwS9LBQxiN9p__9t7CQaAMa9Orc70QcjuRzNrlEcWSO23wfEZQtVC61gZGAAlaZHsaCsqkUxer88PAExfitPiArIkv5-I5YfbuxCETVFrFrnsHfTyFJYU45eYkLHvS/s1600/snow+day+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiixy_RVblXvS9yt2RwS9LBQxiN9p__9t7CQaAMa9Orc70QcjuRzNrlEcWSO23wfEZQtVC61gZGAAlaZHsaCsqkUxer88PAExfitPiArIkv5-I5YfbuxCETVFrFrnsHfTyFJYU45eYkLHvS/s640/snow+day+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">Let me learn from you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">love you, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">bless you before you depart. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgAljf6_a5GEv2u8CbIqW6bUY_fh1qQg9wGmtrL4RvhnIJAluuQmPx1enOQi_GNdeupyVPy8dtv-RkEfFIt5aLcsBefOnyrhSyWuTfEsD_Ih6mQj8dc0RsUplx54ouoIH2GfxXxL_1PK7f/s1600/Snow+day+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgAljf6_a5GEv2u8CbIqW6bUY_fh1qQg9wGmtrL4RvhnIJAluuQmPx1enOQi_GNdeupyVPy8dtv-RkEfFIt5aLcsBefOnyrhSyWuTfEsD_Ih6mQj8dc0RsUplx54ouoIH2GfxXxL_1PK7f/s640/Snow+day+2.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv8LeST6whFVRJthBHBJGF9Z_4aouC2BQI1nVAXDTq93TjcO5kkanv5eYeRdRod4BV0b_9WmyVcdBY3L7QRoeGe5BpVTzR0kkjKfMrZaJQsWd1bof5Q_mA5oWFuICOhPQc29WDCpfHvBHj/s1600/snow+day+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv8LeST6whFVRJthBHBJGF9Z_4aouC2BQI1nVAXDTq93TjcO5kkanv5eYeRdRod4BV0b_9WmyVcdBY3L7QRoeGe5BpVTzR0kkjKfMrZaJQsWd1bof5Q_mA5oWFuICOhPQc29WDCpfHvBHj/s640/snow+day+3.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZOE5dWefmgS39LndITM75ztVwC4PZfjglNTz-O1eiND0lR0lauGwg-woi9DvkVZLofuPedrHMedXHYiqSPez9gGvrfuasLwkcf07r6M4Hujv7w4znsoAzrRRyPTyOwjxCQ5-PoDn1cFib/s1600/snow+day+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZOE5dWefmgS39LndITM75ztVwC4PZfjglNTz-O1eiND0lR0lauGwg-woi9DvkVZLofuPedrHMedXHYiqSPez9gGvrfuasLwkcf07r6M4Hujv7w4znsoAzrRRyPTyOwjxCQ5-PoDn1cFib/s640/snow+day+4.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: merriweather, georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center; text-indent: -30px;">more than all the world, your return. *</span><a class="gr-hyperlink" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5815844.Mary_Jean_Irion" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #00635d; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center; text-decoration-line: none;">Mary Jean Irion</a><br />
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<span class="quoteAuthor" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a class="gr-hyperlink" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5815844.Mary_Jean_Irion" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #00635d; text-decoration: none;"></a></span><br />
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-43098798386178107862018-01-20T00:41:00.002-06:002018-01-21T17:05:57.531-06:00Nobody knows how to say goodbye<br />
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Tears stream down your face<br />
When you lose something you cannot replace<br />
Tears stream down your face<br />
<br />
Lights will guide you home.<br />
And ignite your bones<br />
And I will try to fix you.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=fix+you+cold+play&oq=fix+you+&aqs=chrome.1.69i59l2j0j69i57j35i39j0.4013j1j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8" target="_blank">Fix you Cold Play</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Nobody knows how to say goodbye</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It seems so easy 'til you try</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Then the moments passed you by</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Nobody knows how to say goodbye</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q5Zn_ZkehM" target="_blank">Nobody knows Lumineer</a></span><br />
Nobody Knows Lumineer<br />
<br />
If you had a glimpse into our home this week,<br />
either of these songs would have served as our theme song.<br />
Sad thing though.<br />
We are not a made for tv show and we can't shut it off and walk away.<br />
<br />
No one is prepared for tragedy so when it comes knocking it can quickly shatter your reality.<br />
<br />
Cohen and his class lost a friend and classmate Sunday in a tragic accident.<br />
You can read more about her here: <a href="http://columbustelegram.com/news/local/kimmee-was-quick-with-a-smile-and-helping-hand/article_3ac0b4e7-5249-5ebc-8e77-190c27855368.html" target="_blank">Kimmee</a><br />
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<br />
I sit here tonight in silence.<br />
<br />
I need to process the conversations held in the dark ....when sleep wouldn't come.<br />
I need to process the visitation tonight.<br />
I need to process seeing my son and his classmates signing the casket of their friend.<br />
I need to process how life is so fleeting.<br />
I need to process a parent's worse nightmare.<br />
I need to process questions asked that have no answers.<br />
I need to process the pain I've seen in all their faces knowing...I can't fix this.<br />
I need to process the funeral tomorrow.<br />
I need to process....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjKDVIoWhLPpjE3IUCr-p_8IQQVPQM5nP3viH4MioFSV-z56YGQEw3FXGbGhP1wDIgIKAjmA02riLbMLvcO0Z1WJsMUnMYfRk6WDhFAU9P-u4z7S20ur0i0TI0E-kO5OGp-w_A96Fpkk2l/s1600/48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjKDVIoWhLPpjE3IUCr-p_8IQQVPQM5nP3viH4MioFSV-z56YGQEw3FXGbGhP1wDIgIKAjmA02riLbMLvcO0Z1WJsMUnMYfRk6WDhFAU9P-u4z7S20ur0i0TI0E-kO5OGp-w_A96Fpkk2l/s640/48.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
Maybe there are lessons that come in life, that we aren't ready for.<br />
Maybe that's ok.<br />
<br />
I don't want to live every day in fear of what may happen next. I don't want to be on guard all the time for the next bad thing. One cannot be prepared for tragedy. If you are always waiting for the shoe to drop, are you really living at all? Are you really living your life?<br />
<br />
This will forever be etched in Cohen's (and all his classmates') story.<br />
In 5, 10, 20, 30 years when his path crosses with loss again...this week will have become of part of who he is and how he responds.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTrkn6rT-ZigdikgB9DHFZfuMrhYbxg_q4N3CPiilTV0zUPqJz9vB2ijgxxEoxIOXerSbW6nHr6tvUUaUQSjmr2kaoexW2QSnV2KsomA205QOUJIOKhw96ghV-P8wOUA41JSbZx_hJZ2ls/s1600/049+%25281%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTrkn6rT-ZigdikgB9DHFZfuMrhYbxg_q4N3CPiilTV0zUPqJz9vB2ijgxxEoxIOXerSbW6nHr6tvUUaUQSjmr2kaoexW2QSnV2KsomA205QOUJIOKhw96ghV-P8wOUA41JSbZx_hJZ2ls/s640/049+%25281%2529.JPG" width="640" /></a>A boy in his class asked "When I cried on Monday, did I look weak?" so many thoughts wanted to pour out of my mouth but with God's wisdom I only replied with "How did you respond?" He was quiet and said "No. I wish I would have cried more. This is really hard."<br />
I overheard another boy tonight saying, "I tried not to cry but then Mr. Jurgensen asked me if I was ok and gave me a hug and I couldn't help it. I lost it."<br />
<i>When did they learn it wasn't ok to cry? How did that happen?! </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
This is hard. This is tragic.<br />
This is awful.<br />
This is real..<br />
.and it hurts.<br />
<br />
This week has set the stage. That seems extra overwhelming to me.<br />
<br />
As I watched his class together tonight, crying and laughing...I couldn't help but see something I hadn't noticed before, a closeness, a bond. I sit here tonight praying for a few things that his little class, including Jaimee can hold on to, take with them and forever be a part of who they are.....<br />
<br />
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1. You only get one life. <b><i>Don't live in fear</i></b> but don't squander the gift of life you've been given. None of us know when our story ends. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW8HfGJruILl2HIN2QBiFFmqzK7c6geLkN9wTtR36Tu6qFkXyEITTQeXhk2yw5up3RB_KTFWZFVhFRJqNNuos8tBZsi22XLAApMXx5lNyNPDCY0PYxcbUSoxGLHA934-imW1CBab1Cma8g/s1600/1408.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW8HfGJruILl2HIN2QBiFFmqzK7c6geLkN9wTtR36Tu6qFkXyEITTQeXhk2yw5up3RB_KTFWZFVhFRJqNNuos8tBZsi22XLAApMXx5lNyNPDCY0PYxcbUSoxGLHA934-imW1CBab1Cma8g/s640/1408.JPG" width="640" /></a>2. Never forget the power of friendship. Listen. Answer the hard questions. Show up. Your friends are who will be there when it seems the world has stopped turning and you don't know which way is up. </div>
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3. Sometimes you will <i>feel </i>weak. Vulnerable. Sometimes life is damn hard. That doesn't mean <i>you are</i> weak. That means you are real. Don't run from this. Let your friends help you. Let them help you. Reinvest in your faith. Use these moments to ground you. </div>
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4. Back to Cold Play...but....lights will guide you home. Literally, home is your base...but more than that, man I pray we have laid a foundation. I pray in a more figurative way ....because <b><i>I know life is hard and I know another day is going to come that you are lost....unable to breath and broken....I pray that we have given you the skills, the faith, the strength, the foundation...that when you're "lost" that foundation will be the light that guides you home.... Back to you. </i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKutFn-N9-Ooqw8KkfnHsndNKCLGQqa5YgqLmRtijFbz-rTlNeTKpFIJisPzuAz0J2MzX3Mplk68rrrF78nn55yseQYF1IkhyphenhyphenGpu7kDOW9NLTXseDp4HQjw3YuBwXsD4yhNSCbofBiWzjl/s1600/1416.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKutFn-N9-Ooqw8KkfnHsndNKCLGQqa5YgqLmRtijFbz-rTlNeTKpFIJisPzuAz0J2MzX3Mplk68rrrF78nn55yseQYF1IkhyphenhyphenGpu7kDOW9NLTXseDp4HQjw3YuBwXsD4yhNSCbofBiWzjl/s640/1416.JPG" width="640" /></a><br />
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A discussion with classmates centered around not knowing what to do....I don't know the answer. </div>
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Is there an answer?</div>
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You didn't do enough.</div>
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You tried to do too much. </div>
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I personally think the only answer is this:</div>
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Sometimes in life horribly hard things happen...</div>
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and the only thing you really can do is.... </div>
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show up. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbWZOiocPOdv46PIN62MYjsM9YOJyInlUfIWn2ib9MtjVutBgumxKn6JIspsdOvMq9erv9MIoDODOe06az_8Tjd8Xed2Zwx1b2NWuWzL3RdKXsp6cowXh3hU3xjkcy204qi7ccXzZf1idp/s1600/Bri+5th+gr+field+trip%252C+oct+2015+028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbWZOiocPOdv46PIN62MYjsM9YOJyInlUfIWn2ib9MtjVutBgumxKn6JIspsdOvMq9erv9MIoDODOe06az_8Tjd8Xed2Zwx1b2NWuWzL3RdKXsp6cowXh3hU3xjkcy204qi7ccXzZf1idp/s640/Bri+5th+gr+field+trip%252C+oct+2015+028.JPG" width="640" /></a>Just be willing to show up,</div>
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the rest will sort itself out. </div>
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Tomorrow is going to be hard for so many....</div>
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<i>Nobody really knows how to say goodbye. It seems so easy 'til you try.....</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN20iO-fdnlGAxFaWdtXi8r3FdutIG-_OmGjy4-Ut93v6AuWv_sPFiXzwigdt_BOE4-uTd66ApUGhtcP-za7AnKID20G2__livp2-dozOSD5tU3Rrxd_ci7LTbVIuG28ZDW3CR-v7M4hZQ/s1600/Bri+5th+gr+field+trip%252C+oct+2015+042.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN20iO-fdnlGAxFaWdtXi8r3FdutIG-_OmGjy4-Ut93v6AuWv_sPFiXzwigdt_BOE4-uTd66ApUGhtcP-za7AnKID20G2__livp2-dozOSD5tU3Rrxd_ci7LTbVIuG28ZDW3CR-v7M4hZQ/s640/Bri+5th+gr+field+trip%252C+oct+2015+042.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-6107084370636913562017-06-26T00:40:00.000-05:002017-06-26T01:08:10.773-05:00Taking steps is easy, standing still is hard. <div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Taking step is easy.</i></div>
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<i>Standing still is hard." </i></div>
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<i>~Regina Spektor</i></div>
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The start of summer is always filled with anticipation and adrenaline.</div>
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The first month of summer is nonstop.</div>
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Monday night practice, Tuesday night 2 games, 2 different locations, Wednesday night work late, Thursday night 2 games, 2 different locations, Friday night and Saturday more games, more travel, more schedules to arrange and bags to pack and Monday it starts all over again. Week after week. </div>
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It's been 13-14 hours a day, between work and kids for a month. </div>
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I'm not sure if I'm running on adrenaline anymore. </div>
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I'm not sure what i'm running on...</div>
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Empty most likely. <i>{insert tired mom laugh here}</i></div>
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Logically. </div>
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The funny thing is when we finally get a free night or a free weekend in midst of the chaos we don't know what to do. Hence the taking steps is easy. Standing still is hard, quote above. </div>
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That's one of, or more likely, my biggest motivation for writing down a summer bucket list.</div>
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I want us to be intentional...</div>
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and not get lost in the chaos. </div>
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As simple and easy as that sounds.</div>
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It's a hard task for me. </div>
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<i><b>I get caught up in the chaos. </b></i></div>
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We had a completely unscheduled weekend.</div>
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No schedules to arrange.</div>
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No bags to pack. </div>
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The chaos that was calling was....</div>
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...the laundry</div>
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...the unmopped, for like a month, kitchen floor</div>
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..the piles of unpacked bags.</div>
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I can't put my finger on how but the weekend ended up jump starting our summer bucket list. </div>
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Friday night became a girls' night out and I laughed like I haven't laughed in a really long time. </div>
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Saturday night at the last, late minute, we ended up going to a street dance.</div>
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It wasn't until we paid to get in,</div>
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got the kids a pop,</div>
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watched the band walk on,</div>
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fire up the lights and fog machine,</div>
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did I realize...my kids have <i>Neve</i>r seen a band.</div>
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What!?</div>
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Wait. </div>
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That was a bucket list item, missed!<br />
Kadence did some dancing in the street!<br />
While,</div>
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Benson could not stop staring. </div>
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He was fascinated. </div>
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I could not stop watching my kids,</div>
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watch a real live band.</div>
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I know I got some looks for having a 4yr old at a street dance, </div>
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but bring it on. </div>
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It was....</div>
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magic.<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>(Well the carrying a sleeping 4 yr old from the street dance because it was ridiculously late, to my sister's house part, wasn't so much magic. It was little more hips burning, back burning, arms burning because he was dead weight...so much dead weight that his cowboy boots fell off his feet, which required me to figure out how to pick them up and carry them too. That part was a little less magic and a little more brutal survival)</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAl21NrjsSwH5IXREH75f9ihhOrQ1sC58JsM8YwCT3XV6YOlTb1W5Fxono81fkZ_6d4HeQAPojU6HvfMy1Onavrf-mOycabVDp2_ZCreozYuIow5sd7lrxHrOYhDeLLWAfJ0_ww8xzj5rB/s1600/street+damce.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAl21NrjsSwH5IXREH75f9ihhOrQ1sC58JsM8YwCT3XV6YOlTb1W5Fxono81fkZ_6d4HeQAPojU6HvfMy1Onavrf-mOycabVDp2_ZCreozYuIow5sd7lrxHrOYhDeLLWAfJ0_ww8xzj5rB/s640/street+damce.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Sunday leads to...Monday and right back into the chaos we took a break from this weekend. I had planned on staying home,</div>
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knocking somethings off the to do list. </div>
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I had an item on the summer bucket list last year that we did not accomplish.</div>
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At lunch I decided...today was the day.</div>
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...because again,</div>
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<i>Taking steps is easy.</i></div>
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<i>Standing still is hard.</i></div>
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I needed to<i>"stand still.</i>"</div>
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Just be.</div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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At lunch we took off fairly on a whim for the Dark Island Trail south of Central City. </div>
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It was either going to be a hit or an epic fail. </div>
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It was a perfect day outside for it and we totally took in all it had to offer!</div>
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This wooden bridge was so long! </div>
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It's all free people! </div>
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That's the thing.</div>
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We had a beautiful day together..</div>
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and it was free!</div>
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Our kids don't always need "fancy"</div>
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We don't always need "Disney" level of events.</div>
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We feel pressured somehow, which is crazy, to give our kids these huge vacations and I'll admit I get jealous listening to other people's elaborate vacation/summer plans. I so do. Ugh. </div>
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In the end,</div>
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They need us. </div>
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That's it.</div>
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Sometimes we need to see all the things that are right in front of us!</div>
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..which today included a hidden, worn out, unofficial trail down to the river</div>
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that of course, the boys spotted with little effort. </div>
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This was</div>
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summer.</div>
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I could have chosen to stay with <i>"taking steps is easy"</i></div>
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and finished the to do list and remained on auto pilot</div>
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but instead took a gamble on </div>
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<i>"standing still is hard"</i> </div>
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It takes a conscious effort to stand still in the middle of the chaotic world we live in,</div>
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<br /></div>
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..and man am I glad I did. </div>
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How will you find a way to "stand still" this week?<br />
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We, however, are right back to the chaos.</div>
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That's ok.</div>
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Bring it on.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir9ufJITNN30IJKxXtaj_Ofc9j9S1s3324LlQFm3wz7FmA497yrXhxcrlJNgaKco_3rwCPHB457VhrnjjuAmzGzJHEqVIZKkCI87mLhyZCkLGlDpbtGU1piHSlkw0f_6D6fgcCHudEHOec/s1600/bike+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir9ufJITNN30IJKxXtaj_Ofc9j9S1s3324LlQFm3wz7FmA497yrXhxcrlJNgaKco_3rwCPHB457VhrnjjuAmzGzJHEqVIZKkCI87mLhyZCkLGlDpbtGU1piHSlkw0f_6D6fgcCHudEHOec/s640/bike+8.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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I may need a reminder to stop treading water again soon.</div>
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Can you do that?</div>
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<img alt="Image result for that you forget to swim quote" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/01/7d/15/017d15a4cdf95e63f9011f827853fff5.jpg" /></div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-49490046498448309002017-01-22T00:51:00.000-06:002017-01-23T17:02:48.889-06:00Imperfections are Perfection<div style="text-align: center;">
Our day was spent celebrating Kadence's 9th birthday. </div>
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<i>(...and doing basketball, gymnastics, church and dishes...just keepin' it real)</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-nzGhTuVGDn065oJrBE1VlYS4RHdsNfBdA4Y9c3jfxtTaM0QHqEITIi05FBjq9zQxeLQvSVsu12gpR411TD1on8djh5XvKOVifwnh0R9DjABRCEpOMrtS74cs6GHEWRGtGrvA_-FoaKXr/s1600/imperfect+candles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-nzGhTuVGDn065oJrBE1VlYS4RHdsNfBdA4Y9c3jfxtTaM0QHqEITIi05FBjq9zQxeLQvSVsu12gpR411TD1on8djh5XvKOVifwnh0R9DjABRCEpOMrtS74cs6GHEWRGtGrvA_-FoaKXr/s640/imperfect+candles.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I still cannot write it any better than I did when she was 3...<a href="http://wecomewithbeautifulsecrets.blogspot.com/2011/01/dare-to-do-great-things.html" target="_blank">Here</a></div>
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A day turns into a week. </div>
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A week into a year...</div>
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and before you realize it you're nine years in. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd8rPxDomTMibpl3iK7ybnBAZdAPb7xzNG4ZgbHcJ5hPoIjlVpGLiCqKIDrpNc9rwAaZAKmN6VxwCsi4_RnWVUwheBcIC54HbBa2jwVRf-1eT8B6egevzPHBRV8gWWMaInomrrLeL9BFcF/s1600/impefect+pedi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd8rPxDomTMibpl3iK7ybnBAZdAPb7xzNG4ZgbHcJ5hPoIjlVpGLiCqKIDrpNc9rwAaZAKmN6VxwCsi4_RnWVUwheBcIC54HbBa2jwVRf-1eT8B6egevzPHBRV8gWWMaInomrrLeL9BFcF/s640/impefect+pedi.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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This year I have committed myself to completing a parenting course of sorts. </div>
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It is called The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting by Brene Brown. </div>
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It is phenomenal and challenging. </div>
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I have completed 2 of the 4 lessons.</div>
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However in the process, I have watched the first two lessons two or three times now. </div>
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There is just so much to think about. </div>
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Every year I get further into this parenting journey I realize how much I have yet to learn.</div>
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The one thing I know for certain is: </div>
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<i><b>There is no such thing as a perfect parent all you can do is keep learning and trying. </b></i></div>
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I have spent a lot of time reflecting on something she talks about.</div>
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When we bring a new baby into this world,</div>
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what we say ourselves and what others say to us is "She's perfect." </div>
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The problem with thinking that this perfectly beautiful newborn is ....well perfect, is that everything that goes wrong from that day forward....</div>
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That's on us. </div>
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That's on me. </div>
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And that's just not true. </div>
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Our kids are genetically and neurobiologically wired for struggles. </div>
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Our kids are wired with strengths <i>and</i> weakness. </div>
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That beautiful newborn is not perfect.</div>
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That is just neurobiologically not true. </div>
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Many of us walk out those hospital doors, </div>
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destined to carry a burden of failure purely based on that one belief.</div>
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That we started with a perfect newborn.</div>
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I am not a new parent by any means. Cohen is about to turn 12. </div>
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However the realization that I am not <i>solely</i> responsible for their deficits. </div>
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Their weaknesses. </div>
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Their struggles, </div>
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was really a new place for me. </div>
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It has allowed me to shift how I am seeing my children evolve </div>
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and it has shifted how I see my role as their mom. </div>
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How do I help them see they are imperfect <i><b>and</b></i> amazing <i><b>and</b></i> worthy of love and belonging?</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgJz1U2arKN9gRC_rawvrnfzFZxywjWdwL0BKSLrSXidtrh8Br5mBFm2Nw2mXKi-cDwy5tk97TL-byp8HdS8NMJNVCkcZcMv9tGaXNo6ezBNi5Cc7-Qu-iPj9c9Bxrdq81o0gw57g59UiF/s1600/imperfect+parenting.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgJz1U2arKN9gRC_rawvrnfzFZxywjWdwL0BKSLrSXidtrh8Br5mBFm2Nw2mXKi-cDwy5tk97TL-byp8HdS8NMJNVCkcZcMv9tGaXNo6ezBNi5Cc7-Qu-iPj9c9Bxrdq81o0gw57g59UiF/s640/imperfect+parenting.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> ~Brene Brown</td></tr>
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This is not<i> (and never has been)</i>about keeping kids perfect because they don't come to us that way.</div>
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Its our job to help them learn how to turn their struggles into something beautiful. </div>
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I am not sure I have been cognizant of that in the past and find myself struggling to find my way because I'm not sure I've done that well for myself. I fear failure. I always have. </div>
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...and right on cue from that self reflection </div>
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I started lesson two in the course which centers around the belief that:</div>
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We can't love our kids more than we love ourselves. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIz-pixh3oW_IDJotHVOnp8TKTM2jNYPlc7zwYwMKxz4ZSawj3RP7sVdjCfl5tpEIYWqXfaG0gQrX_3pbedpFfxI84ZI8gFkhpN4KBwWBlraJNvGKInvhmWoRc-byl29Dlppx_im0DOpj1/s1600/love+yourself.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIz-pixh3oW_IDJotHVOnp8TKTM2jNYPlc7zwYwMKxz4ZSawj3RP7sVdjCfl5tpEIYWqXfaG0gQrX_3pbedpFfxI84ZI8gFkhpN4KBwWBlraJNvGKInvhmWoRc-byl29Dlppx_im0DOpj1/s640/love+yourself.JPG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> ~from the Gifts of Imperfect Parenting</td></tr>
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Every year that we celebrate another year of life</div>
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there's a piece of me that lingers...</div>
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not ready to take another step forward. </div>
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However it won't help either of us if we stay where we are,</div>
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so we continue growing together. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOdWzirTPNBHFx3sR88cB0OpCP420b0d21ySrzn1poAW37RXgq38kZWilb1WI2IEbfCB1F0y8J1VW_0GQvgdhWgHujdvXrvnyvnj-1jSaTFfLRPSP2emOmgWj-ws3IGZaIsy1Dc3ARU9ld/s1600/imperfect+us.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOdWzirTPNBHFx3sR88cB0OpCP420b0d21ySrzn1poAW37RXgq38kZWilb1WI2IEbfCB1F0y8J1VW_0GQvgdhWgHujdvXrvnyvnj-1jSaTFfLRPSP2emOmgWj-ws3IGZaIsy1Dc3ARU9ld/s640/imperfect+us.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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That's all we can do.</div>
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That's all I can ask of her </div>
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because that is all I can ask of myself. </div>
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My wish for her this year and into the next is that</div>
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she is able to see her imperfections not as weaknesses to be avoided but as opportunities. </div>
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That she can embrace her gifts and her imperfections.</div>
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That all of those, yes those gifts <b><i>and</i></b> those imperfections </div>
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are both needed to be who she is:</div>
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beautiful</div>
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kind</div>
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smart</div>
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<b><i>Worthy</i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8NWXofpmNQPhZgMYy8l30qqw1BGDyyutUN9SD16x3VXROATbyxhw4roRrP5KabWhB00wuiOcPAKB_tv_NApX1A8pVmHjqI9aHPV38A76Yh0uySwoN-d8kgu03IOla3_UhuvL8l5wVLKb/s1600/imperfect+glasses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg8NWXofpmNQPhZgMYy8l30qqw1BGDyyutUN9SD16x3VXROATbyxhw4roRrP5KabWhB00wuiOcPAKB_tv_NApX1A8pVmHjqI9aHPV38A76Yh0uySwoN-d8kgu03IOla3_UhuvL8l5wVLKb/s640/imperfect+glasses.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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...and maybe she can teach me a lesson or two in that process. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYUwkXYxCAW7pOeznvyX1BOlKo2peN1aUMt5hYru3uwB_0d3IcgZcCJ7nSwOE-wnLP-D7gjjtzjxnCP9suTnAZHreITyIYpLCstlsGepqxiJU4TTabSoWgyBTRkdGYs2KD9ZbwNxwXSnmV/s1600/imp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYUwkXYxCAW7pOeznvyX1BOlKo2peN1aUMt5hYru3uwB_0d3IcgZcCJ7nSwOE-wnLP-D7gjjtzjxnCP9suTnAZHreITyIYpLCstlsGepqxiJU4TTabSoWgyBTRkdGYs2KD9ZbwNxwXSnmV/s640/imp.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-3175664887848604212017-01-01T20:37:00.000-06:002017-01-01T21:22:25.647-06:00The journey of a week. <div style="text-align: center;">
Where does one start? </div>
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I suppose the logical answer is the beginning </div>
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but I am not sure where the beginning is....</div>
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Perhaps we should just start at the end.</div>
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We closed the chapter on 2016 last night along with all of you. </div>
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The irony of that is </div>
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we also drove home last night from Sidney </div>
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as we closed the final chapter of Mickie's, Mark's mom's, life. </div>
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The end of a year. </div>
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The end of a life. </div>
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Her life and her death is not my story to tell. </div>
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<a href="http://www.starherald.com/obits/mickie-m-calahan/article_0950b674-cc8a-11e6-bb24-1bb135dfae2d.html" target="_blank">Mickie's obituary </a></div>
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Tonight at our house as we settled back in, a candle flickers on the table. A reminder of a life lived.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCuCuOW8PRSrY_c1gGwrr72c1L-SmYgtPFIIn9-O7anMABd-nqiy_2Je4pFIL7wUV4g7Wzv1lbbc5bXoBVJJcf4Yhp7tJ6PC6ei9zzsylG3c5fXJRZuF0sVZv5Hx7KBjTHrcUlcC1_70qz/s1600/mickie+Candle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCuCuOW8PRSrY_c1gGwrr72c1L-SmYgtPFIIn9-O7anMABd-nqiy_2Je4pFIL7wUV4g7Wzv1lbbc5bXoBVJJcf4Yhp7tJ6PC6ei9zzsylG3c5fXJRZuF0sVZv5Hx7KBjTHrcUlcC1_70qz/s640/mickie+Candle.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Cancer can be an evil beast. </div>
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It has been exactly one week. </div>
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On Christmas Day my dad said we had to come outside and see the brightest rainbow any of us had ever seen. I was in awe. The rainbow itself was so defined. Glowing almost. I have never seen a rainbow this glorious. The picture just doesn't do it justice. </div>
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<i>We knew that day, Mickie was not feeling well and </i></div>
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<i>we knew her journey in this life was coming to an end. </i></div>
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As we marveled at the beauty of this rainbow on Christmas day <i>I just knew.</i> I thought to myself....<i>Mickie is saying goodbye</i>. I didn't say it out loud. I knew Mark would look at me like I was half-crazy and it was Christmas day so I just thought it to myself. </div>
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It would only be a couple hours later that we got the call. </div>
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Mickie's life here on this Earth had ended.</div>
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She was a woman who excelled with numbers so reflecting back on that now perhaps it is no coincidence that we are looking at a pattern of 1 weeks time.</div>
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One weekend before Christmas. Exactly one week from the day she passed we said goodbye not knowing for sure if there would be another. </div>
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The changes were undeniable.</div>
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An extended Thanksgiving weekend had only been but a couple weeks before.</div>
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As we all know, our lives are not guaranteed. </div>
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None of us know if this will be our last New Years,</div>
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our last Christmas</div>
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our last Thanksgiving</div>
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our last demo derby to cheer on our son proudly...</div>
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Our last trip back to visit family and catch a game....</div>
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We can't know. </div>
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I don't think I want to know. </div>
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Would she have wanted to know?</div>
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I've spent the last week helping plan a funeral and reading numerous cards expressing their sympathy and recounting how Mickie touched their lives.</div>
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Maybe it was because of Christmas..</div>
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Maybe it was because of the New Year coming...</div>
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Maybe it was because we were saying goodbye...</div>
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But as I read each card I wondered...did she know?</div>
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Many of the cards were sent by people I have never met so I have no way of knowing but it left me wondering all the same. </div>
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<b><i>Did she know her impact on your life? </i></b> </div>
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We set aside time to say goodbye as people leave our lives but do we set aside time to let others know what they mean to us in the midst of living everyday?</div>
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I don't think we always do. </div>
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I read an article the other day about setting a New Year's Intention instead of a New Year's resolution.</div>
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My challenge for you is this:</div>
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A New Year's Intention. </div>
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In 2017, </div>
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may you find a way to be intentional in </div>
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expressing your gratitude </div>
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for those in your life that impact </div>
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who you are, </div>
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what you do, </div>
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where you're going,</div>
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because life is as fleeting as a rainbow.</div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-60000568571524829122016-10-11T21:58:00.001-05:002016-10-11T22:20:11.466-05:00Randomness Something I realized recently...<br />
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I miss watching television. </div>
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I don't know the last time I followed a tv series. I can't remember. </div>
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I don't have anywhere to put it. </div>
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Is that weird, to miss tv? </div>
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<i>*I mean some people like strive and set goals to watch less tv because it really isn't that great for </i></div>
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<i> you but that was never a goal for me...it just happened slowly and before I knew it, poof gone. </i></div>
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Oh well....just something I noticed. I won't over think it. It is tv by all means. </div>
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So a friend and I were talking about stress and stress management and came up with the idea of trying something new and I'm kind of liking it so let's chat a moment shall we :</div>
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We all have stress. Good, bad, inevitable right?</div>
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Research does show a few things help such as journaling and the whole method of getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Also we know the brain is visual. </div>
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Our theory:</div>
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What would happen if you made a list of the things you stress about on a regular basis? </div>
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Then go back to the list and assess: </div>
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There are some things that we each stress about that are good..things we should focus on, think about, work on....go through, experience. We have the potential to impact these things. Highlight those things in green.</div>
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There are those things we stress about but really aren't of highest priority or perhaps pertinent currently so maybe highlight those yellow</div>
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AND then there are those things we stress about and lose sleep(<i>lets be serious I sleep like a rock. I'm tired)</i> over that regardless of what we do, say, ponder, focus on, we can't control. Those babies are red. Highlight those bad boys red. </div>
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Try it.</div>
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Now, the moment my mind goes to a red one, I see it in my mind. Red. Instantly I'm like: That's a red stress. I can't change it. Don't waste my time and energy on a red. </div>
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I was. </div>
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I was spending a lot of time on reds when in reality I could have been putting that same amount of time on greens and getting somewhere. </div>
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Just a random tid bit. Two people's research to validate it. That makes it valid. </div>
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It's Legit people. </div>
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Evidenced Based Practice right there. </div>
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Since I'm in random land right now.</div>
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Yoga. </div>
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You should try it. </div>
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Don't know where to go or how to start?</div>
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No Problem...try Be you Yoga.</div>
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Tell her Jen said you want:<i>Candlelight slow flow, beginner's style, stress reduction, life is good, find some peace and grounding again</i></div>
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She'll hook you up. Trust me. </div>
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<img alt="Image result for random reflection" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/8c/4d/e2/8c4de2da329d90ef4c3dac52330f2615.jpg" /></div>
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The randomness is avoiding the heart of the issue right now. </div>
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Avoidance is a great asset right? </div>
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A series of recent interactions with a variety of people have me pondering....a lot. </div>
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Have you ever taken the time to look at how you're perceived?</div>
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That doesn't mean you have to change who you are to meet another's perception or expectation but if inevitability you want to grow as a person you have to be vulnerable enough to see who you really are. </div>
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I making a commitment to really being open to seeing that.</div>
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<i>"Vulnerability is at the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences/"~Brene Brown</i></div>
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This is what happens when I don't fall asleep putting Benson to bed....Randomness</div>
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Damn I should be watching T.V. </div>
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Ugh What the heck.<br />
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<b><i>Also a random tid bit</i></b><br />
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I've been follow Brene Brown for a little over a year now and find her literature fascinating. I pondered taking one of her courses last year: Living Brave, but to be totally honest I was intimidated and didn't sign up AND it cost quit a bit so that didn't help....<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But I am signed up and going to start this:</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.courageworks.com/shop/classes/GOIP"><span style="font-size: large;">http://www.courageworks.com/shop/classes/GOIP</span></a><br />
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<b><i><span style="color: #6fa8dc;">The gifts of imperfect parenting. Watch the video in the link. </span></i></b><br />
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I believe a few friends were brave enough to want to sign up to because as she says...we were never meant to do this alone. (shoot me a message if you sign up!!)<br />
Please join me! I am going to make a closed FB group so we can have some random chats about the lessons! Wanna join? Do it with me!<br />
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I just signed up and used the promo code FBTRIBE and got a 20% discount making it $48.<br />
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Hey that's worth it right there.<br />
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Seriously. </div>
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-15890667147524352522016-08-07T22:03:00.001-05:002016-08-07T22:04:40.171-05:00The war of two worlds...<h2 class="post-title" style="border: 0px; clear: both; color: #565a5c; font-family: "open sans"; font-size: 32px; line-height: 1.1; margin: 0px 0px 9px; padding: 0px 0px 10px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">“I am a human being, not a human doing.” </span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">In this doers world, <i>simply being</i> is becoming rare and precious. </span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">“Everything is hype, noise, desire, desperation, speed and greed. We in the modern world are good at ‘doing,’ <i>but anemic at ‘being.</i>’ </span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Entertainment, busy-ness, texting while walking or even driving…’<i>Efficiency</i>’ is an addictive myth based on our fidgety fear of opening up. </span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">We can not ‘do’ properly </span>until we can, first, ‘be’ fully.<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 32px;">Practice doing nothing – then – we can accomplish…</span><i style="font-size: 32px;">ANYTHING</i><span style="font-size: 32px;">.”</span><span style="font-size: small;"> ~Feinberg</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>*The above is taped to my computer screen at work...take a moment to think about it. </i></span></span></div>
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I have felt a little torn between two worlds lately. </div>
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In the one world I want more...</div>
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.<i>..yet I want less.</i></div>
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That makes no sense at all does it?</div>
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When we turn the corner to August every year I get a little melancholy.</div>
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Summer is winding down and we are turning the corner into a new school year soon. </div>
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The reality of that for me personally is just so.....</div>
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heavy.</div>
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I had put it aside mentally, until a couple weeks ago when a friend asked an innocent question about school shopping and before I could form a sentence I was crying.</div>
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Sigh.</div>
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<i>*If you can relate call me. We can start a support group.</i></div>
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The last day of school the kids and I started making our summer bucket list. </div>
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It includes all kinds of ideas from big to small. </div>
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In passing, a friend made a comment about our bucket list and rolled her eyes </div>
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like I was just over the top. </div>
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Here's the deal. </div>
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The bucket list isn't for the kids. </div>
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It definitely isn't for any super mom status.</div>
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In fact, it is <b>the direct opposite.</b> </div>
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The summer bucket list is for accountability. </div>
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It holds me accountable </div>
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to stop.</div>
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That's it. `</div>
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<i>If there is no list I will, "maybe next weekend" us right into fall. </i></div>
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I know that this day will come every year where summer is winding down and the weight of the school year will begin and if I can't remember to just stop doing and start being...well it scares me. </div>
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Most summers include the "<i>where are you going on vacation?</i>" question. </div>
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If I am completely, honest deep down I really want to answer something <i>exotic or magical. </i></div>
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I had started tucking away a little money through the year to put toward some sort of a summer vacation, but as life would have it I made the decision to use our vacation fund on something that came up that I felt was pivotal. Not fun. Not exotic or magical, However necessary. </div>
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I know that's just part of life. </div>
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Part of "adulting," but that doesn't mean I can't take a night to cry about it right?</div>
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Knowing that most the vacation fund was now "spoken for" the next question came to light, what will we do for a get away?</div>
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One day I had Kadence review our summer bucket list and her top thing to do this summer was swim and Cohen's top item was fishing. Well it didn't take a genius to put the picture together that perhaps camping was just the thing for us. Thankfully mom and dad put on a brave front and accompanied the Calahans camping, since I don't have a boat and there is no way this mama is taking a fish off the hook. </div>
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<i><b>Here's the thing I know but seem to so easily forget....</b></i>..</div>
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You do not have to spend a lot of money to go somewhere that feels exotic...</div>
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or magical really......</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXXyXwqVgzMvRkLCLg8vBjslgmUf8Gv23qUrJ9-nPsKYgi3gzP3tz291rFzeujUjSZG6PD9x83x_olj22qrBE55wWADVXNtjs7ues64UJllip4f0nWQuT0eS25mN9DLSTxM2XhIwMZ6gEL/s1600/lake+benson+swim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXXyXwqVgzMvRkLCLg8vBjslgmUf8Gv23qUrJ9-nPsKYgi3gzP3tz291rFzeujUjSZG6PD9x83x_olj22qrBE55wWADVXNtjs7ues64UJllip4f0nWQuT0eS25mN9DLSTxM2XhIwMZ6gEL/s640/lake+benson+swim.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Maybe the magic is in the simplicity. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMcx4fS3WzTsjLsnwydScdPF6MxUr-0jKDF1f-Ez8QUm6sD_NhsPQKdAJo6XYxTS4-4vnvJ0pKaEujT_2h7g170z8wV5vuUK6Wz4IN1eh-ZIEj_1ym51Z3qOsubSZuarsNrCIJj3ZAIwDr/s1600/lake+cohen+fishing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMcx4fS3WzTsjLsnwydScdPF6MxUr-0jKDF1f-Ez8QUm6sD_NhsPQKdAJo6XYxTS4-4vnvJ0pKaEujT_2h7g170z8wV5vuUK6Wz4IN1eh-ZIEj_1ym51Z3qOsubSZuarsNrCIJj3ZAIwDr/s640/lake+cohen+fishing.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Maybe the magic is in escaping reality for a few days. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnhXWlV7gKpN5pHv2KqlWH-sWTLixhO2WPelysZsSjwq9MkUb4mx2khjinfmZbpBn59iywQSNazf7ZLMGeYA7BFmQF5-gkN1Wz8msA_4-hfxZsXrLmfFofFPreoBJZG6bEBD4fiDEBG_wY/s1600/lake+k+jump.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnhXWlV7gKpN5pHv2KqlWH-sWTLixhO2WPelysZsSjwq9MkUb4mx2khjinfmZbpBn59iywQSNazf7ZLMGeYA7BFmQF5-gkN1Wz8msA_4-hfxZsXrLmfFofFPreoBJZG6bEBD4fiDEBG_wY/s640/lake+k+jump.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<b><i>Maybe you just have to be willing to find magic wherever you are. </i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrGmJO79tyeZ5Ggq8HAgRrRmGCpe7aeUvYzibhyphenhyphenrk0BcQ5kWP4Y9uvtOBkJhoYv0g-XUdyRnbFe1ItvCidZOoVVvNr5mJP7BkOkAT2B-b4ssF1un1WkYyBxGLXr3kCqx7LBA3xeQyJe7/s1600/lake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjlrGmJO79tyeZ5Ggq8HAgRrRmGCpe7aeUvYzibhyphenhyphenrk0BcQ5kWP4Y9uvtOBkJhoYv0g-XUdyRnbFe1ItvCidZOoVVvNr5mJP7BkOkAT2B-b4ssF1un1WkYyBxGLXr3kCqx7LBA3xeQyJe7/s640/lake.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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so tell me: How do you find the magic where <b><i>you</i></b> are?</div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-54097470113703845822016-06-20T22:03:00.002-05:002016-06-20T22:03:25.734-05:00You can't make this stuff up<div style="text-align: center;">
This happened this weekend. </div>
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You can't just make this stuff up! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6mZ1P01kTRVONCb6PVjgRfX1z57xtnlbdfsXlD_W-iCD4Vi41w4X8xSNZGjIKRSp9CVymsWla5zx_S5FD9PF29FO7e7_Jh3DkNnsg3IGHxsf_8hXWkAZ5OCoj6dlBILkeeYV-HTaUY7LX/s1600/water+slide+race.MOV" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6mZ1P01kTRVONCb6PVjgRfX1z57xtnlbdfsXlD_W-iCD4Vi41w4X8xSNZGjIKRSp9CVymsWla5zx_S5FD9PF29FO7e7_Jh3DkNnsg3IGHxsf_8hXWkAZ5OCoj6dlBILkeeYV-HTaUY7LX/s640/water+slide+race.MOV" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i><b>An older, wiser, amazing couple were in the pool this weekend.</b></i></div>
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They grabbed my attention as I noticed the wife heading over to the slide. My first thought was "<i>that's awesome she is going down the slide!</i>" </div>
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Then I glance over and there is her husband...</div>
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fidgeting with the phone, </div>
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telling her to wait a minute, </div>
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then came the hand gesture for her to go...</div>
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he made a video of her going down the slide!</div>
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It didn't stop there. They watched the clip. Laughed.</div>
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Then off he goes. </div>
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Yep. He was headed down the slide and there she was standing with her phone to video it. </div>
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I could not stand the awesomeness of the moment so after contemplating it for about 3 minutes I swam over to where they were hanging out and said...."ya know if you wanted to race, I could record it for you." It took them all of 1 second to make that decision! </div>
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She responded with "Oh yes then I could post it on Facebook!"</div>
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<i><b>Oh I love them even more now.</b></i></div>
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Afterwards I got their phone number and texted the video to them (their phone died) as they were watching it on my phone he harassed her that he obviously won. They re-watched it and she noted he took off before she said "Go" so she planned to post it on Facebook with the caption "<b><i>Cheater</i></b>!" </div>
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As I walked away smiling <b>to my core,</b> </div>
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the gentlemen said "Thank you so much, that just made our vacation." </div>
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I just said "No, thank you." </div>
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It made my day.</div>
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Still makes me smile today.</div>
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Life is hard.</div>
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Life is full of responsibilities, stress, day to day tasks.</div>
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<i><b>How does one maintain a sense of adventure, like these two lovely folks?</b></i></div>
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I'm sure they have had their fair share of hardships.</div>
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I don't know their life story.</div>
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<b><i>I don't need to.</i></b></div>
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<b><i>I can see it in their eyes. </i></b></div>
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I know that they choose to live this one wild and crazy life they've been given.</div>
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That's all I need to know to find admiration for who they are. </div>
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When I grow up I want to be like them.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmFij4z0NDICaF4jYu-icJEwjD4W0JoFNhweVTUHiywNIrS6XqIWmTTezyHZrUusc1x59bpul_puh4jLcMXKs6LfejWEeZ62_xnCsL72l1-aEqGJWlnqz2x9YcgfYMuwnhagzkKT0WtKQz/s1600/fearless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="379" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmFij4z0NDICaF4jYu-icJEwjD4W0JoFNhweVTUHiywNIrS6XqIWmTTezyHZrUusc1x59bpul_puh4jLcMXKs6LfejWEeZ62_xnCsL72l1-aEqGJWlnqz2x9YcgfYMuwnhagzkKT0WtKQz/s640/fearless.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-70000334112031529402016-04-13T21:02:00.003-05:002016-04-13T21:02:32.002-05:00Where am I?<div style="text-align: center;">
It is in me to be the person I want to be.</div>
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I know its in there but sometimes it gets hidden, buried, tangled with other parts of me.</div>
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I want to be the person that embraces life.</div>
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I want to be the person that realizes bad things happen, but that we cannot let those define the next day.</div>
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I want to be the person that when my day comes to make the journey from this life, whether that is tomorrow or 70 years from now, there are no regrets, no wish I would have's or could have's.</div>
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<em>I realize there will always be things you want to do, things to dream</em>,</div>
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but the <b>regrets</b><br />
they come from a different place than dreams.<br />
Do you get that?</div>
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I want to be the person that is always dreaming of new adventures,</div>
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yet is <strong><i>perfectly content</i> </strong>with the here and now.</div>
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(<em>Currently I've been a tired, not so content, slightly cranky version of me)</em></div>
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I had gotten in the habit a few years ago of making smaller, more seasonal bucket lists, but I let life take over and that fell by the way side. Tonight I dug for my car keys at the end of a visit. I checked each pocket twice and started to freak out that I locked them in the van.<br />
They were in my hand the entire time.<br />
I was holding my keys as I frantically dug to find....my keys.<br />
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I am pretty sure it's sign that I need to find my center again.<br />
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I thought to myself on my way home tonight....<br />
tonight you will make your spring bucket list.<br />
It's fun to dream yes,<br />
however it holds me accountable,<br />
that seems like the wrong word but it holds me accountable to what really matters.<br />
To the things that could be regrets some day.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPTZS0vMy-HDp0yuWwj2L5QlUjUMlYPwRdAQY8vRwHLEVJK1uFHEiN5LlRRSpnVngV4ujFPnHojVk8aSOqFCMONTuGmj2vbZVUJnvXVSdoiY3w_spgigi3MiOujo1SBN7aLvSh4amABcWq/s1600/us.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPTZS0vMy-HDp0yuWwj2L5QlUjUMlYPwRdAQY8vRwHLEVJK1uFHEiN5LlRRSpnVngV4ujFPnHojVk8aSOqFCMONTuGmj2vbZVUJnvXVSdoiY3w_spgigi3MiOujo1SBN7aLvSh4amABcWq/s400/us.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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My spring list is blank.<br />
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It's funny really because usually my lists do not involve grand, difficult to plan tasks, but more everyday pleasures and still the cursors sits and blinks at me...mocking me. <em><strong>Stupid cursor</strong></em>.</div>
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Last night I came home from work and literally had to ask myself this question to get myself back on task "Did you rush from work because you felt bad about the dishes on the counter or did you rush because you feel bad that you haven't seen your children today?<br />
Then I ask of you why are you spending your time on the other?" FOCUS</div>
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Maybe I just talked myself through a full circle to realize I am lacking FOCUS currently.</div>
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So until I reorganize the pieces I am,</div>
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back into proper order,</div>
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anyone want to take a stab at starting a spring list for me?</div>
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<em>FOCUS PEOPLE! This is important!</em></div>
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-76895636820215682902016-03-13T23:41:00.003-05:002017-07-08T22:01:33.912-05:00Our day. March 13th. My job since day one has been to raise you, grow you, guide you, to set you free one day.<br />
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This week was filled with reminders of how fragile life is,<br />
so this weekend we celebrated life.<br />
This crazy, chaotic, sometimes hard, but still blessed life.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering what your journey in life will be. What paths will you walk. Will you know happiness? Will you know love? Will you feel success? Confidence?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Will you take on this world and make it a better place?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Will you always remember what really matters? Will you make the right choices when faced with a choice between what is right and what is popular?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "utopia" , "palatino linotype" , "palatino" , serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Will you remember to love life!? Will you smile. Laugh. Enjoy. Treasure all that you can.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">When you are grown will I look back and know I've done all I could to give you all those things.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Have I lived my life the way I want you to live yours? Have I given you the correct "shoes" to walk the paths that your life is going to take you on. I know all too well that the ground work is already laid for you. Oh Cohen have I done what I needed? Will I do what I need to as time goes on?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Will you recognize the value of your own wife and kids someday?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">What secrets will you carry?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Will you remember to pursue the things you love? The things that make you happy?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="color: #333333; font-family: georgia, utopia, "palatino linotype", palatino, serif; font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">There is such an enormous amount of </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" style="font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">responsibility</span><span style="font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;"> when taking on the role of "mom" or "parent." When you blew out your candles and wished for derby cars, spray paint, a phone, you know cool stuff, I was along side you blowing out mine and wishing more than anything that I have given you everything you need to take this journey in life and find happiness. My love for you is immeasurable. Happy birthday </span><span style="font-size: 14.49px; line-height: 21.735px;">Cohen.</span></span></div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-52826328830398397282016-03-11T17:55:00.000-06:002016-03-11T17:55:56.187-06:00What just happened?!Never say Never.<br />
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I should know that already but once again I am reminded that all minds are brilliant and all minds operate differently.<br />
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About a month ago Cohen asked if he could go to the lumbar yard to get some wood to build a box car. I said......<i>sure.</i> He had a paper with measurements on it but I am not sure what he measured. We ended up with like 1/2 a sheet of plywood and some really big screws. I said...ya know the guy at the lumbar yard was asking a lot of questions about what you were trying to build so he knew what to help you buy...I know you like to build from scratch but for something big like a box car that you intend to ride in I think you will need to google and find some directions or blue prints or something. He argued with me. We dropped the conversation.<br />
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Then he was harassing Grandpa to cut the plywood. He drew out where to cut etc.<br />
Grandma told him to look up some instructions.<br />
He walked away shaking his head.<br />
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Again I "nudged" him to just look up some directions so we would know how to build a box car. Again he got mad.<br />
End of discussion.<br />
<i>I may have rolled my eyes as he walked away. </i><br />
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Last night I got home and he said look at my car! He finished it.<br />
I was impressed.<br />
I said how did you ever do that without looking up instructions.<br />
He said "<i>I don't need instructions. It's all in my head." </i><br />
I don't know how because they are not in mine!<br />
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However I still needed to dig a little so I said you know directions would have helped because right now you don't have steering or brakes so how are you going to keep from crashing. If you want to ride in it. You are going to need at least one of those. I drove away thinking...<i>good luck with that little buddy! </i><br />
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This is what I came home to today.<br />
He wired brakes.<br />
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That my friends is genius and again one more time I have been proven dead wrong.<br />
What just happened?!<br />
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-37587865882384685802016-03-05T00:35:00.000-06:002016-03-05T09:04:45.154-06:00Be still.<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z2vEwF0f2s" target="_blank">background music should you want to set the mood:</a></i></div>
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<i>Sometimes you just need to be still.</i></div>
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An idea was born between a work friend and I and it came to fruition this evening. </div>
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A relative has recently started a Yoga Studio (<i>Shout out to Be You Yoga</i>) and she will post her classes and doings on Facebook and <b>one</b> always catches my attention. </div>
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Candlelight slow flow. </div>
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I think to myself.......I don't know what <i>that</i> is but I want that. </div>
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It sounds</div>
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Quiet.</div>
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<i><b>Still.</b></i> </div>
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We decided to pull together our work team for an evening out. Only in the end, I decided to not tell them any details about what we were going to be doing. </div>
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They totally trusted me <i>(well kind of!)</i> and just went with it. </div>
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How beautiful and fun is that?!</div>
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Very little in life is a surprise anymore!</div>
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In the stillness of the candlelight </div>
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for a moment</div>
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I was overwhelmed.</div>
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My thoughts went to "<i>are you crying?"</i></div>
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wait return my thoughts back to breathing....</div>
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"<i>yep that's a tear</i>" </div>
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<b>breath</b>. </div>
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Jeepers Jen. </div>
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In the stillness surrounded by the people who <i>inspire</i> me <b>everyday</b>, </div>
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I was reminded of...</div>
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who they are,</div>
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who they are to me,</div>
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<i><b>who I am because of them.</b></i></div>
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Recently I have been so caught up in and overwhelmed by...jealousy.</div>
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I want a vacation.</div>
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I want a nicer house.</div>
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I want ...</div>
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want..</div>
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want..</div>
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<i>When are we ever going to catch a break?! </i></div>
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All I needed was the stillness to ground me again.</div>
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Surrounded by the very people who have had such an influence on who I have become as a person,</div>
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even more than that</div>
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who I have become as a parent. </div>
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In the way they live their own lives.</div>
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In the passion and commitment they show up with </div>
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every.</div>
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day.</div>
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<i>Every day. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Every day they raise the bar </div>
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for themselves, </div>
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for families, </div>
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for children...</div>
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for me. </div>
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I was overwhelmed tonight because<i><b> I don't know who I would be without them. </b></i></div>
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They are<i> my</i> people. </div>
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They get it.</div>
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They get me.</div>
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I <b>need</b> them.</div>
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Every one of us is flawed.</div>
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Not perfect.</div>
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We are vastly different, </div>
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but because of that, together we are strong</div>
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<i>That's the beauty.</i></div>
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It's been just over 13 years since I started this journey in the world of Early Intervention.</div>
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I walked in the door not knowing a thing about what I just signed up for, not only job wise, </div>
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but life. </div>
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Life wise.</div>
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This "job"</div>
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This journey.</div>
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Changes you.</div>
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Someone on our team once said to a new member...</div>
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This team is a blessing.</div>
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You will never find it anywhere, ever again.</div>
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Cherish it.</div>
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<i><b>Sometimes you just need to be still, </b></i></div>
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<i><b>and take in how rich you really are. </b></i></div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-8986960296422733722016-02-15T08:09:00.001-06:002016-02-15T08:09:23.030-06:00The chaos<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFyvcGhWuiuJFvZk7BR6W0ZF9XJcX1s1gcyL2rsWem9VxsintPwZ2K48TfwVNfzg0dULOTRVu-YqlpsV0JhOLyusDnbEBsa5atularFjS8B5_27RKd_T5WTpTzIJNTk5mZxUeCFCBKbdxl/s1600/chaos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFyvcGhWuiuJFvZk7BR6W0ZF9XJcX1s1gcyL2rsWem9VxsintPwZ2K48TfwVNfzg0dULOTRVu-YqlpsV0JhOLyusDnbEBsa5atularFjS8B5_27RKd_T5WTpTzIJNTk5mZxUeCFCBKbdxl/s640/chaos.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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Here's the deal.</div>
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Every day seems just as busy as the next, sometimes more. </div>
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I so easily get caught up in the "well next week I'll have more time"....facade.</div>
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Most days we are barely keeping afloat. </div>
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<i>(no pun intended after the giant flood in the basement last week)</i></div>
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Chaos.</div>
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There's been plenty of that at work</div>
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and home <i>(above mentioned flooding)</i></div>
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The Kids. </div>
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Last week on the phone with a coworker I said....I feel like I'm always finding a soap box to stand on.</div>
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I need less boxes to stand on.</div>
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I'm tired. </div>
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We talked.</div>
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I came to a resolution thanks to her wisdom and insight.</div>
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That's not who I am. </div>
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I put passion into all the things that matter to me. </div>
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It doesn't matter if its</div>
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Work.</div>
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Home,</div>
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My kids.</div>
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As she said "That's not who you are.</div>
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When you live with passion you can't help it."</div>
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When I came across this quote</div>
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<i>"Sometimes it is not about balancing your life; its about balancing your mind despite the chaos." ~Burchard</i></div>
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It was the solid reminder I needed. </div>
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It is just so true. </div>
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Life is always going to be crazy. </div>
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I am always going to wish I wasn't working and could give more attention to my kids.</div>
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I am always going to wish I could do more for the families I work with. </div>
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I am always going to wish I could balance those two passions,</div>
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and I can't. </div>
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<i>I can't. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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I can, however, do a better job of choosing to balance my mind despite the chaos.</div>
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...not letting guilt creep in. </div>
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Turn that passion toward</div>
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Being Present. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW6Mki4bl4_AKWqNlDt5GzWJd72YBfHAJbAyafWbEOF2aaxSEbPIF9EKsLxpHWALPjoDNiBRK0D9fr_YBp9OJM-cMYgnjl7rYu6_ogcGBYyeWMvaVvWbD03LPxT4V1yodwtXNSrO7czeYZ/s1600/benson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW6Mki4bl4_AKWqNlDt5GzWJd72YBfHAJbAyafWbEOF2aaxSEbPIF9EKsLxpHWALPjoDNiBRK0D9fr_YBp9OJM-cMYgnjl7rYu6_ogcGBYyeWMvaVvWbD03LPxT4V1yodwtXNSrO7czeYZ/s640/benson.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Yes. </div>
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I know that I need to be present. </div>
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Being Present with whatever I am doing. </div>
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Seems so simple</div>
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yet </div>
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some days is so hard. </div>
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It really is a choice,</div>
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I just have to make it. </div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-57279313522666963932016-01-21T01:51:00.002-06:002016-01-21T01:51:39.992-06:00Ordinarily extraordinary <div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzoZhb7ELNI">This song. </a></div>
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It replays over and over in my mind tonight.</div>
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<em style="text-align: center;">Don't let anyone steal your dream. It's your dream, not theirs. ~Dan Zadra</em></div>
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There is so much hurt in the world today.<br />
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There is so much pressure.<br />
There are so many opportunities, yes, there are those too.<br />
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<br />
Maybe the world has always been this way and I've been blind to it all.<br />
Seems if one looks around, at home, school, work, government,<br />
whatever is happening according to the "world" it is not good enough.<br />
There is so much pressure to perform from a young age, that it scares me.<br />
We tell each other that it is okay.<br />
We tell each other that no matter what happens as long as you (or your kids) do their best that is what matters.<br />
<br />
We say it,<br />
but we don't believe it.<br />
<br />
We know the "world" doesn't see it that way<br />
and we feel the fear attached to not living up to this elusive undefined standard.<br />
<br />
As Kadence's birthday comes and goes.</div>
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I want to celebrate not just her 8 wonderful years of life, </div>
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<br />
but celebrate <em><strong>every</strong></em> little <em><strong>spunky fiber</strong></em> of her being.<br />
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She demands attention.<br />
I call her my "<i>watch me</i>" kid.<br />
In her defense there are days that has probably been her only way to be<br />
seen.<br />
heard.<br />
felt.<br />
loved.<br />
<b>I hate that.</b><br />
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So many life lessons to teach,<br />
and there is no guide book for the ones I value most.<br />
<br />
How do you teach someone to keep dreaming?<br />
How do help someone find their purpose? Their drive? Their passion?<br />
How do you help someone become a dreamer <b><i>and</i></b> a do-er?<br />
On the eve of her birthday<br />
I have a lot of questions<br />
and some idea of things I need to focus on for her.<br />
in her.<br />
with her.<br />
As she grows, I grow.<br />
<br />
I am trying really hard to trust the process.<br />
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<br />
For your birthday my dear I want to commit to this as your gift:<br />
<br />
<i>Make the Ordinary come alive</i><br />
<i>Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives.</i><br />
<i>Such striving may seem admirable</i><br />
<i>but it is a way of foolishness.</i><br />
<i>Help them instead to find the wonder</i><br />
<i>and the marvel of an ordinary life.</i><br />
<i>Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears.</i><br />
<i>Show them how to cry when pets and people die.</i><br />
<i>Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand.</i><br />
<i>And make the ordinary come alive for them.</i><br />
<i>The extraordinary will take care of itself. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
I have no idea where it came from.<br />
I've had a picture of it on my phone for a couple years as a reminder.<br />
Sometimes I <b><i>need </i></b>the reminder.<br />
Sometimes I need to do better. </div>
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<br />
As she blows out her candles tomorrow morning<br />
she will be wishing for something wonderful I am sure....</div>
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but I will be wishing for a way ~ for her~ a girl in the world today</div>
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~full of messages of not good enough, pressures, standards, and hurt~</div>
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to bottle up those characteristics that define her today so she can rise above "the world"</div>
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and continue to believe inside that she<em><strong> is</strong></em> "good enough."</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955</em></span></div>
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I brought you into this world and will do my best to help you "fight" the good "fight" my dear.<br />
It is a big task in front of us...finding the way in this world<br />
<br />
Yes, there is a lot of hurt in the world today,<br />
but I can't help believe with every fiber of my being<br />
that it is still a wonderful place<br />
and life is full of happiness,<br />
sometimes you just have to be willing to see it first.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Yes I must teach her that.</i><br />
<br />
I have some streamers to go hang now...<br />
and birthday treats for school to pack up...<br />
because tomorrow is an ordinary day,<br />
and we plan to celebrate!<br />
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Happy birthday</div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-11803790399898216482015-12-25T23:02:00.002-06:002015-12-25T23:02:40.275-06:00The magic is in the mess<div style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: center;">
Just a reminder that we are not alone in the mess.</div>
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<i>'Every year as I think about my own life and reflect upon what my family and what many of the people around me are going through this Christmas, it’s clear that struggle doesn’t take off for the holidays.</i></div>
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<i>The gremlins don’t go on vacation. Checks bounce, chemotherapy appointments are scheduled, interventions are planned, relationships keep unravelling, being alon<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">e feels even lonelier, parents negotiate who will have the kids on Christmas morning, and the “never enoughs” are in full swing.</span></i></div>
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<i>As I prepare to spend the next few days with my family and friends I come back to this: I will find my holiday magic in the mess. I will practice love and gratitude with the special group of folks who keep showing up and loving me, not despite my<span style="line-height: 19.32px;"> vulnerabilities, but because of them.' -Brene Brown</span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></div>
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<img height="635" src="https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/12392065_1202400176441756_5398882486479894327_n.png?oh=c9d91cabdea7007121c24f19e9ec46e0&oe=57134691" width="640" /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="line-height: 19.32px;"> I will find my holiday magic in the mess. I will practice love and gratitude with the special group of folks who keep showing up and loving me, not despite my<span style="line-height: 19.32px;"> vulnerabilities, but because of them.' </span></i></div>
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<i style="line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="line-height: 19.32px;"><b>That.</b></span></i></div>
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<i style="line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="line-height: 19.32px;">That has been my motto this holiday Christmas Season.<i> </i></span></span></div>
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Try to be present. </div>
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Practice love and gratitude. </div>
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Find those that see your vulnerabilities and show up anyways. </div>
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Seems nice on paper.</div>
<div style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: center;">
Much harder in practice. </div>
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There will never be enough time,</div>
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or enough money</div>
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but love. </div>
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We got that covered. </div>
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<b>Christmas Magic.</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkl4gxKv91rtFFNfV_8s5bEQux3qOeh5cLvKklhN5_6LrfCIGd0uZJYHsdL9zwyM8rkxJh2L93KNJpbAwsPXQp8zCS-4xIiiRgeDNkpOJ4jzUN1WlWsndri8egTgd3QcRC9W5mGCjM99ir/s1600/xmas11.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkl4gxKv91rtFFNfV_8s5bEQux3qOeh5cLvKklhN5_6LrfCIGd0uZJYHsdL9zwyM8rkxJh2L93KNJpbAwsPXQp8zCS-4xIiiRgeDNkpOJ4jzUN1WlWsndri8egTgd3QcRC9W5mGCjM99ir/s640/xmas11.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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I am the first person to raise my hand for some of that,</div>
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but its a funny thing Christmas Magic,</div>
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it can be hard to find</div>
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and even harder to see</div>
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unless you really believe.</div>
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It takes effort to find it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAOSe-vcbkUFfF0MTgnUAq1TSiipxvW8cYQRMItflgT8O17g7Cae5sjjDO4eB1ZjgX6Tzw6NPrjDvOQeRUdRHEFHkudAzgcbVE-fOQYG3lckFifCW8wnb5HXyGMl6E-jRbWNFIds9gP4Gh/s1600/xmas12.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAOSe-vcbkUFfF0MTgnUAq1TSiipxvW8cYQRMItflgT8O17g7Cae5sjjDO4eB1ZjgX6Tzw6NPrjDvOQeRUdRHEFHkudAzgcbVE-fOQYG3lckFifCW8wnb5HXyGMl6E-jRbWNFIds9gP4Gh/s640/xmas12.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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See it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAagCcrZBGu0zzRMIPlhipKr-4IhsRcYtksObucDGpW8Zhf87qp13Dr77RKNR1zx5GAbP2SOzA0FidAKRDUsfm1MCkTRXgeBzprUrW0Spil_UwX204MPbnMW-WOX_a1UknOJwrAPuLP7MG/s1600/xmas13.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAagCcrZBGu0zzRMIPlhipKr-4IhsRcYtksObucDGpW8Zhf87qp13Dr77RKNR1zx5GAbP2SOzA0FidAKRDUsfm1MCkTRXgeBzprUrW0Spil_UwX204MPbnMW-WOX_a1UknOJwrAPuLP7MG/s640/xmas13.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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<i><b>Make it.</b></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_SnigTXAi5VLjEhxFhNCv6eCQ0BWrGfIDRwfgCpHrhC5Ofkb0vYrd-b-82sY9GheVzEK2GMq_arlqhm4MM6z7U2GNfsZES89AEUkpUVQHPX6mdrW-cXxMBZm0QenUTQlRdCzZeXuqDM9u/s1600/xmas14.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_SnigTXAi5VLjEhxFhNCv6eCQ0BWrGfIDRwfgCpHrhC5Ofkb0vYrd-b-82sY9GheVzEK2GMq_arlqhm4MM6z7U2GNfsZES89AEUkpUVQHPX6mdrW-cXxMBZm0QenUTQlRdCzZeXuqDM9u/s640/xmas14.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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yes indeed I will find my holiday magic in the mess.</div>
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The pictures they capture the magic.</div>
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Not the mess. </div>
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<i>Work late, Last minute shopping, no groceries,</i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">giant to-do list, hence the Styrofoam bar take out, mess that we call every day life around here.</span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">We all have worries.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Stress.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Things to do.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Vulnerabilities. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Those don't go away just because it is Christmas. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNsdjYOHUfGfUFDPz95yr3QzGMSEj2OjzQkdgO7IPTuMahHALR_KJYWy8VJEiLuSIrQOJKgjeu1E6rAV0dUSO_kg_x_XIwH0xwMtZTY6BIqVgXs_nwKw2rK_5lFPMrKKXB_rLORiD5hN3h/s1600/xmas3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNsdjYOHUfGfUFDPz95yr3QzGMSEj2OjzQkdgO7IPTuMahHALR_KJYWy8VJEiLuSIrQOJKgjeu1E6rAV0dUSO_kg_x_XIwH0xwMtZTY6BIqVgXs_nwKw2rK_5lFPMrKKXB_rLORiD5hN3h/s640/xmas3.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">I don't want my kids to ever think that Magic <i><b>just happens,</b></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">because it never will.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Real life just happens. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Being able to stop and make magic.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">that's the true gift here. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBbU_OlzoAFxjVDTHbw56xjLe44E6xj4aWKWw9Mv-FRDN1awj0-I2qMYD9dMY9i0wdqvKv3QMOvEgL5FudbcMxS6j90swscAuzPMbfe4bCOCSPA7rFC9ilf8GEvG4Y6gFqZYvBJT6aCBf7/s1600/xmas5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBbU_OlzoAFxjVDTHbw56xjLe44E6xj4aWKWw9Mv-FRDN1awj0-I2qMYD9dMY9i0wdqvKv3QMOvEgL5FudbcMxS6j90swscAuzPMbfe4bCOCSPA7rFC9ilf8GEvG4Y6gFqZYvBJT6aCBf7/s640/xmas5.JPG" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Before you ask, Yes that is his real hand. Yup.<br /></td></tr>
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<i>....</i>but as discussed with Cohen today, Magic has two sides. </div>
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Sometimes people forget...</div>
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Of course there is that side we all know,</div>
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the "<b><i>wow</i></b>" side,</div>
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The "<b><i>HOW</i></b>?!" Side,</div>
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but did you know there is a 2nd side of magic?</div>
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<b><i>There is!</i></b></div>
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The other side of magic is making it happen,</div>
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It's gets far less attention that is for sure but </div>
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I promised...</div>
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<b><i>that doesn't make it any less magical.</i></b> </div>
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Welcome to the other side of magic.</div>
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We are going to have so much fun!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgruQGioFPnQUNFC-oFi9FQVKAe_08hcUT2AL2irD5PQZIoZ4ZoS8E5JV-5CA_NjC2jVtI5Y39d8OMdP2pt3L7JjXT95p91z9-5oGG3VkOF_veM2IzMnxB6qESspJqEdH78VLykfVRx0e0p/s1600/xmas7.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgruQGioFPnQUNFC-oFi9FQVKAe_08hcUT2AL2irD5PQZIoZ4ZoS8E5JV-5CA_NjC2jVtI5Y39d8OMdP2pt3L7JjXT95p91z9-5oGG3VkOF_veM2IzMnxB6qESspJqEdH78VLykfVRx0e0p/s640/xmas7.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
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<b><i>Merry Christmas! </i></b></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-67785200457635131732015-10-16T23:15:00.001-05:002015-10-16T23:15:21.824-05:00Don't let FOMO kill your MOJO<div style="text-align: center;">
My kids are growing up.</div>
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Some days I can feel time slipping away. </div>
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Like, tangibly feel it. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWnXbnZQx_WdChr-5-0h4Q_KqGEvOTCMlIFvfxSkKrvWkbooC_8240HMxICEIYsjvCtMF4bgf4V9F5QhYuAK9iIweu_nIQDBKvVk2HuEQx329IP7JYY3nd18tKzeIuyk7beeCDAjyw6N9r/s1600/ccc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWnXbnZQx_WdChr-5-0h4Q_KqGEvOTCMlIFvfxSkKrvWkbooC_8240HMxICEIYsjvCtMF4bgf4V9F5QhYuAK9iIweu_nIQDBKvVk2HuEQx329IP7JYY3nd18tKzeIuyk7beeCDAjyw6N9r/s640/ccc.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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No school today for the kids, prompted me to knock off work at noon. </div>
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We were craving sun light and *maybe* just a little fun.</div>
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The kind of fun that makes time stand still (at least for a moment)</div>
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I threw around the idea of the pumpkin patch, maybe a movie,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If we did a pumpkin patch,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
would we go for the gusto, otherwise known as Vala's or</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in usual fashion hit a knock off?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I was leaning toward Hoop-la to be honest! </div>
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After all in not so long...my kids won't care to do the pumpkin patch anymore.</div>
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*insert tragically sad face</div>
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<br /></div>
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Thankfully a last min meeting came up at work, </div>
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which resulted in car pooling.</div>
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Car pooling thankfully with the co-workers I am blessed with</div>
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results in chatter.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes deep, though provoking.</div>
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Sometimes shallow.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes surface level.</div>
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Today...casual and free flowing.</div>
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During that drive I said </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<i>Am I looking for hoopla? Is it the hoopla that matters or is it the experience?"</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Initially it was an honest question but quickly I knew the answer.</div>
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So the "knock off" was it!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It took a solid 90 seconds for confirmation I'd made the right choice!</div>
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At the front gate....Megan! </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>(my college roommate and dearest, best friend ever)</i></div>
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On a field trip from their new home and school in Brady! </div>
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<i>You can't make this shit up people.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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Coincidence?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Perhaps.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
...<b><i>but no.</i></b></div>
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No such thing people. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Look around.</div>
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Find them in your life!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
We fully dove into the rest of the day.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEyZ2TE-7kUwjKvuNJmJsoFIZL1NpCJgCO4TlguOAoTwo7eAl8TPbPhGhwWq4qOcFrhcfGLvpJIlXDRunOpZKQs2_5lkGZgbxVKAhtd9ahcaxRentE5KTRoaOMAzMqy6IRPF5rABhSE_Ql/s1600/aa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEyZ2TE-7kUwjKvuNJmJsoFIZL1NpCJgCO4TlguOAoTwo7eAl8TPbPhGhwWq4qOcFrhcfGLvpJIlXDRunOpZKQs2_5lkGZgbxVKAhtd9ahcaxRentE5KTRoaOMAzMqy6IRPF5rABhSE_Ql/s640/aa.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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I was a bit worried that I would feel like we missed something....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something bigger,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
grander,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
better, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
by not going with "hoopla"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Like we missed out.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hate that feeling.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Now.</b></i></div>
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<i><b><br /></b></i></div>
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Now I fear we would have missed something....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something bigger,...</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixVkpbtVFASow_uGBSKTFPmHyDcJ-egl3LfsgUNx_RPtp5P8TnQ_Hhj6NvFNHncjTLVOET7zgWftvH4QW7eFgPgXehyphenhyphenpPQYp098ArDPgq04PqRPnKgIOBRg-VcmaaG5GENXcNQlCVk4pMw/s1600/aaa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixVkpbtVFASow_uGBSKTFPmHyDcJ-egl3LfsgUNx_RPtp5P8TnQ_Hhj6NvFNHncjTLVOET7zgWftvH4QW7eFgPgXehyphenhyphenpPQYp098ArDPgq04PqRPnKgIOBRg-VcmaaG5GENXcNQlCVk4pMw/s640/aaa.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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grander,....</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipv-ZWzm8qkdSUMaLEQL5L6OpApXl3dIXZOkLaZFYJ0G8sDtwEYGJIzt0EjPI7ol8tuppwvqzBEw4lnViXa3ximWps6wZVFqTtGaNz3QXMla-C0WXEu3YPkHMMVTuZtyNb87sARti5zFak/s1600/aaaaaa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipv-ZWzm8qkdSUMaLEQL5L6OpApXl3dIXZOkLaZFYJ0G8sDtwEYGJIzt0EjPI7ol8tuppwvqzBEw4lnViXa3ximWps6wZVFqTtGaNz3QXMla-C0WXEu3YPkHMMVTuZtyNb87sARti5zFak/s640/aaaaaa.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>better....</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNnDneYUFDbmQIHiMEPPG1OmcHdl2AEpafb_yCl6_0pPv0Zw9UCukezIpAbPQTlr_moSZwLjaLi5HsBEXwiYSrg64UEYOTvRzipHK2KBpD5y46hozkoSOgcimgCQ2EpmIJGboN00fSByd3/s1600/IMG_3195.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNnDneYUFDbmQIHiMEPPG1OmcHdl2AEpafb_yCl6_0pPv0Zw9UCukezIpAbPQTlr_moSZwLjaLi5HsBEXwiYSrg64UEYOTvRzipHK2KBpD5y46hozkoSOgcimgCQ2EpmIJGboN00fSByd3/s640/IMG_3195.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOgs6hO8PphO6xv4Go1p31N4dwelovmpDYV53hRQ1VsLXxxngfcp5IZkSj9XcxOssFwaaz5dRApBAdFZrPrK83-Y9uz8ow5HzTZsPK6XRQL6SoTHJ0a5vwsqWqxdV3s5uliubXzXmUNZpN/s1600/IMG_3197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOgs6hO8PphO6xv4Go1p31N4dwelovmpDYV53hRQ1VsLXxxngfcp5IZkSj9XcxOssFwaaz5dRApBAdFZrPrK83-Y9uz8ow5HzTZsPK6XRQL6SoTHJ0a5vwsqWqxdV3s5uliubXzXmUNZpN/s640/IMG_3197.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
if we<i> <b>had</b></i> gone with hoopla</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsYt3gPCcfLUG8Csznm6olXiho4QoCw4seJmOHVpdgGOOXD-msst1eJSZqOjikpGnY_9eN4nrMByewZLhpIW9TfbDT517UakJ9eWkaLTs4daOuYNTROmgD0aXnp3NbzCmEMvoLtEEySoiR/s1600/c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsYt3gPCcfLUG8Csznm6olXiho4QoCw4seJmOHVpdgGOOXD-msst1eJSZqOjikpGnY_9eN4nrMByewZLhpIW9TfbDT517UakJ9eWkaLTs4daOuYNTROmgD0aXnp3NbzCmEMvoLtEEySoiR/s640/c.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Do you know how long we played in the corn?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Me neither.</div>
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That my friends is....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
letting go. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjitlddW5jQCXV7R7j3PTwmL43wm0b2SLGVMTdNK-jvtCi7289c0-Hbm3o8ERt2Mz0_xLnIOwIvX5UJ77yMSEv62eZIv502iOo6YRlklieGyof8-wS4M1L-x7nuYuGySqGBXMy_xC2OstXF/s1600/b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjitlddW5jQCXV7R7j3PTwmL43wm0b2SLGVMTdNK-jvtCi7289c0-Hbm3o8ERt2Mz0_xLnIOwIvX5UJ77yMSEv62eZIv502iOo6YRlklieGyof8-wS4M1L-x7nuYuGySqGBXMy_xC2OstXF/s640/b.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
I know tomorrow brings with it....</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
reality.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
but every so often it is sure nice to escape from it.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Perhaps literally inside a giant orange jump house pumpkin?!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
so I guess bring on tomorrow...</div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
reality ain't got nothin' on this </div>
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<br /></div>
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So whether you 're out camping with your kids,</div>
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jumping full pocket book into Hoopla,</div>
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hitting up the knock off,</div>
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<b><i>just don't miss it</i></b></div>
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because days like today</div>
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are rare gifts</div>
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mixed in among the more common days </div>
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filled with homework, tantrums, parent teacher conferences, mom guilt,</div>
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work, stress, wishing for silence, <i>begging for silence,</i> </div>
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worry, running to and fro, go go go. </div>
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...and think about what you want...really want. </div>
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not what you're afraid you'll miss</div>
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because I sit here tonight feeling blessed that I didn't end up letting that drive </div>
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our direction today.</div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-70530298365092239402015-09-23T21:53:00.002-05:002015-09-23T21:57:00.513-05:00everyday kinda beautiful <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet." -Bob Marley</i></div>
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I had nothing to do with this happening,</div>
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as it was already in progress when I arrived home.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhczrmfD5XOVH0e3Wj8UCu8offouQ9UD9miG4V6QKqi_hMgQBf1twllGPj8jmhdiKfM3eGLdEA59v9TJl7Yenc8RnkRLgsnO2znTbP-9_ISPHJlXEnERhNyQpBZSf23svaTzDWr_xObvPd5/s1600/FullSizeRender6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhczrmfD5XOVH0e3Wj8UCu8offouQ9UD9miG4V6QKqi_hMgQBf1twllGPj8jmhdiKfM3eGLdEA59v9TJl7Yenc8RnkRLgsnO2znTbP-9_ISPHJlXEnERhNyQpBZSf23svaTzDWr_xObvPd5/s640/FullSizeRender6.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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It was one of those days.</div>
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Not bad.</div>
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Not good.</div>
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Just exhausting.</div>
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I told the kids my brain was tired today. </div>
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This.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ3hxEIJmJPlH0pgWXtpG6SCqZnMALXRZVJngsfV-L5CGnXfUfbNrZIeXDDJD6YWMQDe4YlOnHjFoQNKMTropH3ike_MqiUzGL6QQdKU2pzAKFZZrtTfs9UdKH6dxJCCfw7ISzdOnfS5tp/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ3hxEIJmJPlH0pgWXtpG6SCqZnMALXRZVJngsfV-L5CGnXfUfbNrZIeXDDJD6YWMQDe4YlOnHjFoQNKMTropH3ike_MqiUzGL6QQdKU2pzAKFZZrtTfs9UdKH6dxJCCfw7ISzdOnfS5tp/s640/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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This was a gift.</div>
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Given at the right time</div>
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on the right day.</div>
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A reminder to stop thinking, worrying, and doing for a split second</div>
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and <b>just be</b> present.</div>
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It's the everyday kind of beautiful that can be <i>quietly</i> missed. </div>
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When my brain is tired it is hard to feel the rain.</div>
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I (<i>as do all mom's</i>) do so much for our kids and families that goes </div>
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un-noted, unnoticed, un-thanked.</div>
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These moments</div>
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Like today</div>
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These are the moments where <i><b>they</b></i> do so much for me </div>
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and I am thankful I didn't miss it. That <b><i>I</i></b> didn't let the moment go</div>
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un-noted, unnoticed, un-thanked. </div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-28105742184239614032015-09-03T00:06:00.000-05:002015-09-03T00:17:05.493-05:00Wants vs Priorities<div style="text-align: center;">
So a short discussion evolved today but of course I can't stop reflecting on it.</div>
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If an anonymous check showed up for like $20,000, what would you <i><b>really</b></i> do with it?</div>
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First off it's silly cause $20,000 isn't going to drop from the sky in real life, </div>
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but yet here is my mind mulling it over. </div>
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My first thoughts went towards the obvious things, </div>
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so for a moment here was my first train of thoughts...</div>
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<i>"Oh a dishwasher, OMG how do we <b>still </b>not have a dishwasher, OHHH the bathroom, update the bathroom and the kitchen, including the dishwasher, and windows, and siding, and its time to trade off the van, and update the pick up which is dying...DISNEY! Oh yeah Disney! Yes, Disney would make the list! Maybe a trip to the tropics. OH yes the kind of vacation where you really vacation and just hang out at the beach and drink umbrella drinks........wait how much money was it? $20,000? I just overspent it didn't I??! If this is a hypothetical game can we change the amount?" </i></div>
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It doesn't hurt to ask right? Someone's got to push the rules.</div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Upon further reflection a random extra 20Gs really isn't ever going to satisfy my <i><b>Want </b></i>list. Even after the $20,000 was spent I'd still be left with what 5-6 of those things undone, still on the list?! BOO!</div>
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I'm changing my answer. </div>
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Tonight has been full fledged, all hands on deck (<i>in my brain</i>) reflection. </div>
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Reflection on: </div>
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What is my priority in life right now? </div>
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<b>Am I able to match what I say my priority is and what my actions are on a day to day basis? </b><br />
<i>(can you?! It's a big question)</i></div>
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Because as I reflect....I can't. </div>
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What I would say matters most to me, is not where my time is when you break down my day to day activities. </div>
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That there leads me to going to bed feeling defeated. Guilty. Sad at times. </div>
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<br /></div>
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That is the source of some stress and feelings I am working though right now. <i>(growing is hard but I am sure worth it....so they say)</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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I am re-answering the hypothetical question: </div>
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If an anonymous check showed up for like $20,000, what would you really do with it?</div>
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My answer is much simpler now. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>"I would put in a savings account to put towards monthly bills and cut my hours at work, just slightly so I could be home when the kids get home from school."</i></div>
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That's it. </div>
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That would be life changing. </div>
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That right there is<i><b> the</b></i> thing my dreams are made of. </div>
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I can live without the dishwasher. Disney. Pretty siding...nah. I'm good. </div>
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Working full time evenings are just overwhelming. There is about a 2 to 2.5 hour window to cook supper, eat supper, do homework, take baths, read books, and gee I don't know maybe talk or play<i>(crazy concept) </i>before its bed time. It just isn't enough. </div>
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Real life.</div>
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Tonight. </div>
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I got home from work a little late around 6 which left us about an hour and half to do the above mentioned tasks before starting the time for bed discussion.</div>
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Benson needed a bath.</div>
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Kadence still wanted to read with me, her new super great, library book </div>
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<i>(about smiling coincidentally) </i></div>
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and Cohen really wanted me to hear what he had learned on his brand new trumpet adventure.</div>
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I was in a good mood so I thought I was handling it like a Pro...<i>Cohen go down stairs and practice and I will be down after Benson's bath to hear what you learned.</i> <i>Kadence bring your book in the bathroom as I am just sure Benson would love to hear it as much as I would. </i></div>
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<br /></div>
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Thinking I had this mastered we moved forward. <b>I cannot even tell you how this evolved</b> but at one point I looked up and it was like...one of those out of body experiences...where you can see whats going on around you and you aren't part of it. All I could think was "get me my camera" because I'm pretty sure we are on a comical sitcom right now!</div>
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Benson was screaming.</div>
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Kadence was reading out loud.</div>
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Cohen was blowing his trumpet.</div>
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Simultaneously. </div>
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I wish I could give you an estimate of how long this was all happening before I realized it<br />
but honestly, <i>I can't.</i> </div>
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<b><i>Wait</i></b><i><b>!</b></i></div>
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<i><b>WHAT?!</b></i></div>
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Real life.</div>
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No one benefited from that. </div>
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That there was multitasking to an unhealthy level.</div>
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That there is also...</div>
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Reality.</div>
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It all needed "<i>done"</i></div>
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So I guess that's success?</div>
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It's done. </div>
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<i><b>Wait.<br />What?!</b></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It leaves me pondering tonight, if its that important to me, how can I make that happen in real life and not a hypothetical game discussion. There is no $20,000. If not every night some nights? Can I shift my mornings to make the evenings look different? Can we cut different corners?<br />
Surely there's got to be a way. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My thoughts are brewing. I have some processing to do. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I feel good.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I think it was past time to stop "talking" and start "doing" </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No one can change my life but me.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I think I need to think about this. </div>
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I'm not accepting "it is what it is" </div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>"Its not an issue of wants vs needs. It's an issue of wants vs priorities"~Munson</i></div>
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Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-91482944579115590612015-08-13T00:14:00.002-05:002015-08-13T00:14:26.613-05:00Defining moments<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTuXtrEh1ufIPl5-U5FP-e_TPrkwa3qRG6lcOYn-xe6GULsxZXWv9Zs09C8zEmrogVO_Hrzi_z4cep0qh5NhUcTs4pgUhsIJqoH4ITDcbkoReHr-pOS6ZkjEeZZmanmIVA6UK0eIL8pqSx/s1600/adult.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTuXtrEh1ufIPl5-U5FP-e_TPrkwa3qRG6lcOYn-xe6GULsxZXWv9Zs09C8zEmrogVO_Hrzi_z4cep0qh5NhUcTs4pgUhsIJqoH4ITDcbkoReHr-pOS6ZkjEeZZmanmIVA6UK0eIL8pqSx/s640/adult.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
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<i>Crazy how often that happens.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Surely its not just me.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There are certain times in life that are going to be defining moments.</div>
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You know them right?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sometimes they come and go and you don't know until after, </div>
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yet sometimes you know they are coming.</div>
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You know that they are going to challenge you.<br />Force you to face who you are</div>
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or perhaps who you aren't.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Defining moments. </div>
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-42077077076310050622015-07-12T01:01:00.000-05:002015-07-12T01:01:16.113-05:00Welcome home<br />
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<br />
<br />
Take Vacations.<br />
<br />
That's what I said on Facebook anyways.<br />
Tonight I sit here exhausted yet unable to sleep.<br />
Something deep inside stirring.<br />
<br />
I think its for the fact that for a couple days I could shut it all out,<br />
...........and it worked.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
For a few days I disconnected from my daily life and trying not to sound too cheesy, reconnected with not only my kids but with the mom I always thought that I would be, but some how in the day to day task of living, no surviving, she gets lost. Tangled up.<br />
It felt........free and it felt lighter.<br />
It felt good.<br />
It felt....like home.<br />
<i>(not home in sense of the location "home" but on a deeper level, like this, this is who I am. home)</i><br />
<br />
I read a book.<br />
No actually I read 3 books.<br />
Somehow in between riding roller coasters, flying down water slides, swimming and the million "watch me's" I also got lost in a book.<br />
<br />
You know the last time I read a book for fun?<br />
Me neither.<br />
I am thinking it was merely 3+ years ago (How is that possible?!). It really isn't that significant of thing except when I think back to who I used to be, to the things that defined me. Reading was always one of them. I read all the time. It's the one activity that I would have put in the "hobby" column, a column that sits empty now. I had forgotten how it feels to get lost in a story. A momentary escape from reality. How,why, when did I stop doing simple things I love. How does that happen?<br />
I know the answer is...life is busy. It happens.<br />
Every day. Everything from work to the kids,.....all demanding my time, my energy, my focus, one can only muster up so much in a days time....<br />
but that's how it happens....<br />
slowly...<br />
tick tock...<br />
and one day you wake up and you've lost yourself.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's funny (for lack of better word) one would think the older you get, life's journey become clearer, but for me it only seems to get more muddled. There <b><i>are</i></b> moments when I feel I know right where I've been and right where I am headed <i>and yet</i> there are moments when I don't even know who I am anymore. <br />
<br />
I'm not ok with that. I see how quickly my kids are growing up and how much there is that I want to teach them, no better yet, show them. If I can't define myself, how will I guide them in this process of growing up and defining themselves? In the end isn't that our role as parents, above all else, we are shaping who they are, how they view the world, and whether we want to face it or not, we lay the foundation for how they define their lives.<br />
<br />
I was struck yesterday (<i>last day of vacation, which means I had <b>totally</b> let go of all to do lists in real life</i>) by the weight of a <i><b>simple</b></i> phone call. It was astronomical, and not in a good way, how a simple unexpected phone call brought it all back. I couldn't shake it after that. I tried, but it was too late. Reality was creeping back in....<br />
<br />
Welcome <i><b>home</b></i>.<br />
<br />
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<br />Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4167676489321038364.post-35693240743158042332015-06-23T22:31:00.001-05:002015-06-23T22:31:13.906-05:00simplicity wins again. <br />
I know it's part of who I am.<br />
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</div>
<br />
I cycle.<br />
I imagine we all do to some degree in similar yet different ways.<br />
The ebb and flow of life.<br />
It is just one of those parts of the journey that gets a little steeper, a little more up hill, if you will.<br />
<br />
Consciously I know that, ebb and flow baby, means we'll get to glide down hill again....<br />
<br />
The deal is consciously you can know one thing but your emotions pretty much tell your conscious off.<br />
<br />
In the shuffle of, wake up, get everyone out the door, get to work, work, go home, make supper,run to baseball, run to softball, run in circles, do baths, put kids to bed, laundry, <i>oh the laundry.</i>....under the weight of what needs to be done every day, the person I think that I am, the person I want to be is being swallowed up. I am kind of "lost" in a sink hole and the more I fight the daily grind the further I sink it seems.<br />
<br />
I've been pondering lately our need as a society to offer kids the biggest and best of all things. Is that really what is best? I just can't think that it is. Why do we need a grand water park with water slides, gadgets and gizmos galore when I know kids can play for hours in just a pool?<br />
<br />
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One thing I've learned thus far is: Life is not made of big scale events. Sometimes our greatest skill (and greatest challenge) is finding the good to cling to when the daily grind is sucking you in. Are we setting our kids up to fail?<br />
<br />
My kids brought me back to reality at least for one night.<br />
For that, my inner soul, my "<i>who I want to be</i>" thanked them.<br />
I was sitting inside looking up a "good" "fun" "family" hotel in KC for vacation, because let's be honest its hard not to get drawn into needing to find the "next best thing" so its the greatest thing ever....kind of thinking. When after the fourth *cough* maybe fifth time of begging me to come out and look at what they had done, I drug myself outside and well.....<br />
<br />
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Cohen dug a fire pit in the corner of our backyard lot.....</div>
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<i>maybe <b>not </b>what I was thinking</i></div>
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Kadence picked up all the sticks she could find in our yard and maybe some neighbor's yards....</div>
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<br /></div>
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...and ta da</div>
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fire pit</div>
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and</div>
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a cool summer night.</div>
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On our way in after changing the supper plan to "ot dogs" <i>(per Benson) </i>and marshmallows,</div>
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<br /></div>
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Cohen said "this was the best night all summer"</div>
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and there it was....</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the reminder I have so desperately needed.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It doesn't have to be complicated to be great.</div>
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I just <b>need</b> to remember to be present....</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>I could have spent most the night looking up "fun family hotels." How's that for irony?!</i></div>
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and sometimes that is the hardest part of all. </div>
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<br /></div>
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simplicity wins again. </div>
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It always does.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">"<i>Be as simple as you can be. You'll be astonished to see how uncomplicated and happy your life will be."~Yogananda</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Verdana, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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It's probably past time to put together my annual summer bucket list.</div>
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Tell me: What's on your summer bucket list?</div>
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How do you remember to keep it simple?!</div>
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How do you remember to actually be present?</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13087304091870401396noreply@blogger.com0