Tuesday, December 27, 2011

just can't let it show

Sometimes events happen which make us force us to reconsider reality.
Today a debate has been occurring in my head...who am I really?
Am I a pessimistic or optimistic person? 
Is it possible to be both?
Am I faking it?

I would have initially said optimistic, why, of course!
I would have cast judgement upon the pessimistic side of me.
I would have tried to mask that I have a sarcastic pessimistic side.

I never understood pessimism.
On the surface it seems so gloomy
so lack luster...
so hopeless
and I love hope and I love to dream.

I am not sure I ever took the time to fully understand pessimism

pes·si·mism  (ps-mzm)
1. A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view.
Maybe we all need a little pessimism.
Could it be possible?
Maybe its not as doom and gloom as it is made out to be.
Maybe that pessimistic side is necessary to set up the defenses.
Sometimes the thing or things we hope and dream about come crashing down.
Sometimes things just do not go like they "should" whether you are optimistic or pessimistic.
I have just realized that I use my pessimistic side keeps me safe sometimes. That sometimes some "dreams" are so big that if they drift out of our reach the pain is too much.
When I anticipate the "bad" may happen and it does, is the blow just a little less than if I had let myself fully dream the dream? 
Sometimes when my dreamer side takes over there is a little "p" voice that says whoa back down.
 If you fall now it's really going to hurt.
I fully see the value in dreaming the big dream and without hope and dreaming this would be a pretty dull and boring life....but until today I never gave credit to that pessimistic side.
I never realized the value of the protective factor within my pessimistic side.
Sometimes life does not go as planned.
Sometimes life socks you in the stomach stealing your ability to breath. 

Sometimes I need my pessimistic side more than I need optimism.

Today me and pessimism stand together. 
.......give me this moment.

Friday, December 9, 2011


I love Christmas.
I love everything about the Christmas season!

It was magical as a child and amazingly it remains magical as a adult.
I love the music. I love the glistening snow. I love the twinkling lights. I love the feel. I love the magic.

I have been attempting to capture in words what it is about Christmas that makes it so, well, magical, and there just don't seem to be the words.

It is all of the tangible things, like the lights, the church services, the music, the presents and all of that, but it is so much more.

Any given day of the year you can find a person saying, we really need to slow down and remember what really matters....although nice in words it is often hard to follow in action.
It seems to me what I love about Christmas most is that it is the one time of the year that we collectively, at the same time, stop and realize what really does matter most.
We make time for family and friends.
We spend time pondering the perfect gift that will show our appreciation to our loved ones.
We talk about Jesus.
We recognize need in others and want to take action and help.
I witnessed an amazing act of giving this week that reminds me how much good there is still in the world.

Magic I tell ya.

I knew the season was passing by much too quickly.
We needed to stop.

So Friday night the kids and I had an impromptu Magically Wonderful Christmas Supper.

The kids made their own pizza, we dusted off the china, we lit candles and drank Root Beer from bottles so they would clank when we would "cheers" and "cheers" and "cheers."

The good wishes ranged from cheers to root beer, cheers to poopy head (really that was in there, they are kids for goodness sake sigh) to cheers to Jesus and everyone in heaven that they had a special life and to hoping that every kid is happy and loved on Christmas.

Cohen ended supper by saying: "I think this was the best night ever." 

Magic I tell ya.


if you just believe.

Has the magic slipped away for you?
Do you still feel it deep within?
Share it in a comment below
for if we share the magic
it can only grow.