Friday, March 5, 2010

Keep what is worth keeping

"But Oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely.

Oh the comfort-the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person-having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." ~Dinah Craik

The last week or two I have really been reflecting on my friendships. I started this blog as a way to free my thoughts from my mind~therapy~ I guess you might say, only this is free.

The one thing I did not anticipate would be your support in everything and just how powerful that has been.

I started to ask myself, what is friendship? Really? The answer to that lead me in all kinds of unconnected, not related, how could they go together thoughts.....which I must say perplexed me just a lil bit!

Tonight I think I have figured out why the answer to "what is friendship?" is so complicated, in mind my at least. I think was I was inadvertently trying to capture all these impossible qualities into a single person when really each person serves a different need as a friend!

What kind of friends do I need? really?

1. I need that one friend that will be brutally honest (but kind too). The one that when I need someone to be candid, open, honest, frank, brutal, but oh so helpful, when I am not looking for fluff and roses, when I am not looking for reassurance, but true honest help, someone who will have an answer or least help me start to move toward an "answer." yes, yes I NEED that friend.

2. I need that one friend that no matter the situation, no matter the drama, no matter the circumstance, will always make me laugh. The one that will not let me stay very long wallowing in my self pity or drama. You know the type of friend I am talking about right. The one that no matter how down and out I am, even if she has to pick my ass up, throw me over her shoulder, and drag me out of the pit I am in and back into the lighter, softer, sunnier, air and before long I have laughter again! The one that when you spend a day/evening together your face hurts from laughing so hard! The one that makes you laugh until you pee...and then only laugh harder because you just did that! (oh come on, I can't be the only one it has happened bladder! What can I say! Sometimes it "rears it's ugly head!") Yes, yes I need that friend.

3. Then I need the friend that you call when you just need to spout off about something or to call and talk about nothing and something all at the same time~something that would be "minor" or "insignificant" in the grand scheme of things~but yet relevant to me that day. The one that when you don't really "need" anything in particular but you just wanna chat. The one that listens, doesn't really need to offer any "answers" or "opinions" but is just there, whenever I need them. The one who does random kind things......Yes, yes I need that friend.

4. I need that one friend that will so go in the slums with me. The one that will sit down with you and agree with how I think and feel. The one who would go to battle if I asked. The one who says "Hell Yeah." "No they didn't" (I seem to be lacking a description for this type of friendship.) I guess it would be the one who will sit down and "bitch" with you for awhile! The friend that I need when sunshine and roses seem like a bit too much right then and I want to hang out in the darkness and shadows for awhile.

5. Then I need that friend that just knows. The one that knows everything there is to know, no matter what words are spoken. The one that knows me better than I know myself. The one that could sit in silence with me and understand my every thought.

When I started to think about what I "needed" in a friend, I stumbled upon this....a single person could never fill all those needs. Profound? I suppose not. I just had never stopped to understand how much each of your friendships play such a vital role in my success~happiness~coping~survival. That one type of friendship isn't more important than the other...that each one is so crucial.

I would be so lost without each of you.

Thank you. Thank you for being my friend! Thank you for making me laugh, letting me cry, encouraging me to continue, and telling me to suck it up! *and thank you ever so much for the bottle of cherry vodka that was so thoughtfully left by my door this week!*

Yes each of you is needed~appreciated~treasured~ so thank you and I hope I offer a freindship to you that fits in a niche of your own!!!

**and yes you are still needed~appreciated~treasured~even if you weren't captured in a photograph** This just made me realize I need to get my camara out more and capture the beauty of our friendship!


Kelsey said...

hahha Jen i'm not so sure what you mean that can't be one person.. i'm pretty sure i'm ALL thee above :) heheh your welcome to have my friendship.. I love ya too

Rachel Siffring said...

Do you need friends who have husbands you can laugh at? LOL Nice Purse Chopper!!! HA HA Sorry that picture just cracks me up every time! Hilarious!!

The Preister's said...

you are blessed to have all those amazing people in your life! and I no doubt am sure they feel the same about you!!!!
-what a great post!

Kim said...

YOu will always have me as a friend!!!!

Meg said...

Blessed to have a friend like you too! Tongue out picture...classic!

Tiffany said...

What a great post, Jen. You're so right...different people meet different needs in our lives!
For instance, I am so glad when I get to come to your house every 3 weeks to help you out. It's about you. It's about you being my friend and I would do anything to help out a friend, especially you.