from the start

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.  The order varies for any given year.  ~Paul Sweeney

We have crossed into our 9th year of marriage.

There are days when that doesn't seem possible.

Nine years?  Really? Where did time go?

How did nine years go so fast?

And lets be honest there are days that it just feels like forever.

When you say "I Do" it may be good that you don't really know the "truth"

The fact that there will be days that you wonder if you made the right choice.

The fact that there will be moments when you think you are done.

The fact that...it really isn't a fairytale...

and love is not enough.

But there is always more to the truth...

The truth is it takes work.

A lot of work.

But with a lot of effort, forgiveness and laughter the payoff can be high.

After nine years of both of us making the conscious decision every day to stay...

There is someone who knows how to lighten the situation when I am over reacting.

There is someone who knows how to filter what I say into

the things I mean and the things I am just ranting about.

There is someone who knows me better than I probably know myself.

There is someone...There.

It's ironic or maybe typical that our anniversary was yesterday and we both worked and we both got home after 7pm and with two young children that means we got home in the "zone" you parents know the "zone" The kids are tired but fighting it and the next hour consists of crazy bath and bed time and wild things.

We had no plan.

There was no Anniversary plan.

Only every day survival,

plan as usual.

This is nine years of marriage in it's full glory.

Mark and I both still needed supper,

so as Mark put the kids to bed

I warmed up supper and at the last minute

I decided to take an extra minute and turn this "plan as usual" into something just a little more.

Something a bit more like the fairytale...

If just for a fleeting moment.

And that's the thing that I realized last night.
On the surface we all want the above.

We want to believe that everyday married life is warm and reflective

just  like a romantic candle light dinner on your ninth anniversary,

but what we don't see (at least what we don't see before we are married is; that's not real)

Maybe that is the problem with life today

We all just want the warm reflective candle light dinner

we want to believe in the illusion....

but in order to survive

you have to open your eyes and see reality in it's entirety
(yes this is actually the same table at the same time as the candlelight one above!)
We all see the world..but what "lens" we choose to see it through varies.

you can deny that it exists but that doesn't make the "bad" go away.

It seems to be that once you embrace it for what it is, the good with the bad.....

you get to keep moving forward

 and in the end...

that is the fairytale.