Friday, March 6, 2015

in the blink of an eye

The last week(or 8 months whatever) at work and home has been busy, 
slightly overwhelming one might say. 
On top of work and managing 3 kids, daycare has been closed two out of the last three weeks which has left us even more out of schedule and shuffling kids even more than usual. 

This morning.
Well for this last day of, the daycare shuffle. Benson was heading to my sister Kim's house in Brainard. Grandma had graciously volunteered and thus arranged, to drop him off so I didn't need to drive to Brainard and then drive to Columbus, which I have done. I had a text from Kim by 5:50 that she was not feeling well and was going to go to the doctor when they opened. Well crap. 
Is there a way to find a back up for the back up daycare provider?!
Well in this case, no.
Ugh I felt horrible that here she was feeling awful but still willing to take on my kid for the day.
I said out loud: Daycare just needs to be open. Its ridiculous to be closed two out of three weeks. UGH. I may have added in a few more choice words about daycare being closed today. 
I'm not gonna lie.

Fast Forward

The day was scheduled full of meetings. There were some rumblings about a guy the cops were looking for in Columbus.

Next meeting.

An overhead page. The building was going on lock down due to students being in the center and there was an armed man being searched out by police.

Meeting ends.

Insert some:
* inappropriate but funny humor about army crawling to the van in the parking lot
*razing of a coworker who's boyfriend was home sleeping in the area where the suspect was, probably not noticing he was surrounded by a SWAT Team
*deep breathing by a coworker whose home was in the area where at one point the suspect was suppose to which she couldn't remember locking the door. 
*repeat inappropriate humor in the parking lot

Return to office.

That's when it happened.

A picture of the live feed from the scene.

All it took was eight tenths of a second for my world to temporarily crash. 

I knew that building in the background. 

I knew that street.

 ...I see that corner everyday.

That corner that was now on shut down.

Surrounded by law enforcement.

SWAT teams.

That corner is Benson's daycare. 

,,,,and in the matter of eight tenths of a seconds 

I couldn't breath. 

The suspect was quoted as saying he would never go back to jail and would die in a shoot out with cops before letting it happen. 

Any other day
Any other Friday
my two year old child would have been a mere couple of houses from an armed suspect threatening to go down in a blaze of glory. 
My two year old would have been on lock down at daycare. 

My two year old would have been in harms way

and I

his mom

would have been no where in sight

with no way to protect him

no way to sooth him

no way to whisk him away

and I really couldn't breath.





She went on vacation.

I had just complained about that very thing this morning. 

I had to say out loud

He's not there.

Oh my God, he's not there.

Thank God he's not there.

I still couldn't breath

because any other day

any. other. Friday.

He would have been

and that was more than I could handle.

I have said time and time again

There is no such thing as coincidence.
There is not.
I believe more now then ever.

I sent my daycare provider a text.

Thank you.
Thank you for taking a vacation.

....everything can change in the blink of an eye. just eight tenths of a second.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. ~ Linda Wooten

No comments: