Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Do it anyways...

'My whole life I've been telling myself, 'don't be afraid'. And it is only now that I'm realizing how stupid that is. Don't be afraid. Like saying, 'don't move out of the way when someone tries to punch you' or 'don't flinch at the heat of fire' or 'don't blink'. Don't be human. I'm afraid and you're afraid and we're all always going to be afraid, because that's the point. What I should be telling myself is 'be afraid, but do it anyway'. Live anyway.” - Unknown
Some things come back to you, just like riding a bike, as the saying goes.
Other things take some reminders, maybe some relearning!
Oh how I had forgotten how tiny their lil butts are as newborns
or how sweet it is when they suck their little legs up to their bums when you pick them up 
and somehow over night I swear the two big kids grew exponentially.
I was surprised how quickly I adjusted to 5 to 6 hours of broken sleep.
What are they?
Just as we are getting things figured out, it is soon time to change again.
Back to work comes in a little over a week.
I've done this before.
The first drop off.
This time is different though.
This time I dread it more than the other times....
knowing how quickly they grow,
knowing how much is missed...
This time though there is more.
I love my job.
I have outstanding coworkers.
Yet, inevitably going back to work brings more to do.
More to do brings more stress.
More stress brings out crabby mom more frequently!
Until I went on maternity leave I didn't realize how much stress I  carried day to day, balancing what needs done at work, what needs done at home, what the kids need.
i just feel so much lighter and I know what comes walking back in that door.
We'll strike a new balance.
This I know.
We have someone great lined up to love on our newest addition.
My coworkers (friends!! and sometimes life lines!!) will help me!
I know.
I know.
In the mean time I can't fret what I do not know.

SO I tell myself ...be afraid, but do it anyway. Live anyways.
ps...about that statement of how quickly you adjust to sleep deprivation....I took Cohen to taekwando tonight in Columbus. Got bottles ready.
Left said bottles on the counter.
Yup drove to Columbus with absolutely no bottles for the baby.
so perhaps my perception of adjustment may be skewed a bit!
*Surely a wet wipe and water is just as effective at sterilizing a bottle as boiling! Right?!

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