I have been contemplating what is it about Kindergarten and Cohen that pulls at the heart strings, that makes me want to run for the hills.
For some it is hard to separate, the thought of sending them out all day, but for us, we do that already with daycare, so no it isn't the separation. It isn't the new place. New teacher. New friends. Yes those are all factors that make the first day a bit scary, but I know Cohen and I know he will be fine. Quiet at first, but fine. No it is not those things at all....it is, well everything else. Bigger.
When I think about the significance of Kindergarten it gets me. These first two to maybe three years will virtually determine if he is a child who loves or hates school. These first two or three years will determine if we learn from the homework sent home or fight over it for the next 13 years. Did you know that if you are not a proficient reader at the 3rd grade level it is most likely you will never be? The power, influence, and impact of these first few years are indescribable in predicting and creating future success.
Kindergarten for me is not letting go of Cohen as much as it is letting go of the power I have in shaping and influencing who he is and what he does.
Up until this point, as Cohen's mom, I have had control. Yes he is in daycare all day, but if I don't like the daycare provider, we can change. I get to decide what kids he sees and what kids he knows and what kids he plays with. I get to decide, well pretty much everything.
This chapter ends that.
This chapter begins a new balancing act that I am not yet equipped for.
Unlike daycare, if he gets a teacher that I don't agree with or I don't think "clicks" with him, I have no power to change that. I can't "decide." There is not another choice, but to make it through.
So when I think about the lack of my "power" and the importance of these first few years in predicting future success...that is what "Gets me" that is what "holds me down." That is what "scares the living daylights out of me", Cohen's mom.
Then that makes me sit down and reflect on the foundation I have laid for him while I did hold the "power," and the decisions were mine. Did I do enough? Could I have done more? we should have read more books and drew more pictures. Did I do the ground work? Did lay down a solid foundation for him to grow from? These again are scary questions to ask of yourself as a parent, because they too greatly predict your child's future success.
The night is closing in and tomorrow we set foot into a new world.
A world of new learning and new lessons for Cohen and Cohen's mom.
Yes friends parenting isn't rocket science, it is far more complicated than that!