Our day. March 13th.

My job since day one has been to raise you, grow you, guide you, to set you free one day.

This week was filled with reminders of how fragile life is,
so this weekend we celebrated life.
This crazy, chaotic, sometimes hard, but still blessed life.

Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering what your journey in life will be. What paths will you walk. Will you know happiness? Will you know love? Will you feel success? Confidence?
Will you take on this world and make it a better place?

Will you always remember what really matters? Will you make the right choices when faced with a choice between what is right and what is popular?

Will you remember to love life!? Will you smile. Laugh. Enjoy. Treasure all that you can.

When you are grown will I look back and know I've done all I could to give you all those things.

Have I lived my life the way I want you to live yours? Have I given you the correct "shoes" to walk the paths that your life is going to take you on. I know all too well that the ground work is already laid for you. Oh Cohen have I done what I needed? Will I do what I need to as time goes on?

Will you recognize the value of your own wife and kids someday?

What secrets will you carry?

Will you remember to pursue the things you love? The things that make you happy?

There is such an enormous amount of responsibility when taking on the role of "mom" or "parent." When you blew out your candles and wished for derby cars, spray paint, a phone, you know cool stuff,  I was along side you blowing out mine and wishing more than anything that I have given you everything you need to take this journey in life and find happiness. My love for you is immeasurable. Happy birthday Cohen.

What just happened?!

Never say Never.

I should know that already but once again I am reminded that all minds are brilliant and all minds operate differently.

About a month ago Cohen asked if he could go to the lumbar yard to get some wood to build a box car. I said......sure. He had a paper with measurements on it but I am not sure what he measured. We ended up with like 1/2 a sheet of plywood and some really big screws. I said...ya know the guy at the lumbar yard was asking a lot of questions about what you were trying to build so he knew what to help you buy...I know you like to build from scratch but for something big like a box car that you intend to ride in I think you will need to google and find some directions or blue prints or something. He argued with me. We dropped the conversation.

Then he was harassing Grandpa to cut the plywood. He drew out where to cut etc.
Grandma told him to look up some instructions.
He walked away shaking his head.

Again I "nudged" him to just look up some directions so we would know how to build a box car. Again he got mad.
End of discussion.
I may have rolled my eyes as he walked away. 

Last night I got home and he said look at my car! He finished it.
I was impressed.
I said how did you ever do that without looking up instructions.
He said "I don't need instructions. It's all in my head."  
I don't know how because they are not in mine!

However I still needed to dig a little so I said you know directions would have helped because right now you don't have steering or brakes so how are you going to keep from crashing. If you want to ride in it. You are going to need at least one of those. I drove away thinking...good luck with that little buddy! 

This is what I came home to today.
He wired brakes.

That my friends is genius and again one more time I have been proven dead wrong.
What just happened?!

Be still.

background music should you want to set the mood:

Sometimes you just need to be still.

An idea was born between a work friend and I and it came to fruition this evening. 

A relative has recently started a Yoga Studio (Shout out to Be You Yoga) and she will post her classes and doings on Facebook and one always catches my attention.  

Candlelight slow flow. 

I think to myself.......I don't know what that is but I want that. 

It sounds

Quiet.

Still. 

We decided to pull together our work team for an evening out. Only in the end, I decided to not tell them any details about what we were going to be doing. 

They totally trusted me (well kind of!) and just went with it. 

How beautiful and fun is that?!

Very little in life is a surprise anymore!

In the stillness of the candlelight 

for a moment

 I was overwhelmed.

My thoughts went to  "are you crying?"

wait return my thoughts back to breathing....

"yep that's a tear" 

breath. 

Jeepers Jen. 

In the stillness surrounded by the people who inspire me everyday, 

I was reminded of...

who they are,

who they are to me,

who I am because of them.

Recently I have been so caught up in and overwhelmed by...jealousy.

I want a vacation.

I want a nicer house.

I want ...

want..

want..

When are we ever going to catch a break?! 

All I needed was the stillness to ground me again.

Surrounded by the very people who have had such an influence on who I have become as a person,

even more than that

who I have become as a parent. 

In the way they live their own lives.

In the passion and commitment they show up with 

every.

day.

Every day. 

Every day they raise the bar 

for themselves, 

for families, 

for children...

for me. 

I was overwhelmed tonight because I don't know who I would be without them. 

They are my people. 

They get it.

They get me.

I need them.

Every one of us is flawed.

Not perfect.

 We are vastly different, 

but because of that, together we are strong

That's the beauty.

It's been just over 13 years since I started this journey in the world of  Early Intervention.

I walked in the door not knowing a thing about what I just signed up for, not only job wise, 

but life. 

Life wise.

This "job"

This journey.

Changes you.

Someone on our team once said to a new member...

This team is a blessing.

You will never find it anywhere, ever again.

Cherish it.

Sometimes you just need to be still, 

and take in how rich you really are.