bipolar maturity levels

"You're only given a little spark of madness.  You mustn't lose it. " ~Robin Williams

Some recent conversations sent me digging for a few pieces of nostalgia.

Music primarily.

CD's to be more specific.

In my quest to find a few particular, targeted Cd's, I stumbled upon an entirely forgotten CD of completely inappropriate and immature rap music.

I pulled up to the gas pump, singing out the lyrics to a song that has more curse words than I have probably said in the last 6 months combined (eerily why is that we remember the lyrics to such things!?) and honestly rather enjoying it! 

A lady got out of her car, black pants, black coat, approximately 35 years old and I thought to myself....wonder what she's listening to?!

This got me to thinking....

I am not sure when it happened. Sometime over the last year maybe two,

I cannot leave the house without making my bed!

(I know mom?!  RIGHT?! Only took me 30 some years)

Certain things about me have grown up.

Matured.

Whatever.

and then....

then there are the other parts.

That just seem to refuse to "grow up!"

I'm afraid I may be a bit bipolar within my maturity levels!

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?  ~Satchel Paige

*I would definelty not put down 33 for an answer on that one! At least not this week! It is weird because I can see the responsiblities that for the most part I carry successfully at work and at home, but at the same time I hardly feel "old enough" or "mature enough" to claim to be responsible enough to carry them if that makes any sense what so ever.

I would love to hear how you would answer that question!

pink and purple princess day

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. 

~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

I like birthdays.

I like the hoop-la

The fanfare.

There is something about birthdays though that I didn't fully appreciate until after having children. 

It's more than just the magic.

It is so easy for days,

sometimes, shamefully, months to go by where I seem to hang on for dear life.

Not sure whose in the driver's seat as time whizzes by.

It is easy to miss a lot.

Survival.

In fact this post from another blog is not far from the truth sometimes!

But!

But....

Things like birthdays make us stop.

I love that.

I read my post from Kadence's birthday last year and it is so true.

In fact it was so true,

so from my heart,

that I can't compete to write something better this year.

My wish for her then continues to be my dream for her now.

All day I just looked at her in amazement. 

When I stop to consider how much it takes for a healthy baby just to be born....

and then factor in how much growth and change that takes place in just four short years. 

Pure Wonder and Awe.

In Awe of who she is,
who she is becoming
and the happiness that oozes from her every day,

and full of wonder about the woman she will grow up to be.

Leaves me speechless. 

Life is full of uncertainty,

but there is one thing my kids can be certain of...

My love.

so I repost the the end of her "dare to dream" birthday post last year....

As she blows out her candles Saturday she will be wishing for something pink I am sure....

but I will be wishing for a way ~ for her~ a girl in the world today

~full of messages of not good enough, pressures, standards, and hurt~

to bottle up those characteristics that define her today so she can rise above "the world"

and continue to believe inside that she is "good enough."

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955

I brought you into this world and will do my best to help you "fight" the good "fight" my dear.
It is a big task in front of us...finding the way in this world
but I promise I will strive to provide you with the roots you need today
so that you find your wings and have the courage to dare to do great things.
Yes, there is a lot of hurt in the world today,
but I can't help believe with every fiber of my being
that it is still a wonderful place
and life is full of happiness,

sometimes you just have to be willing to see it first.

Happy 3rd Birthday!   Happy 4th Birthday pretty girl!!

Road full of promise

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.  ~Hal Borland

I openly confess I've been avoiding a "New Year's" discussion.

A New Year.

New opportunities.

New experiences.

New challenges.

Growth.

Ultimately that is what we strive for year after year whether we set new year's resolutions or we don't.

A new concept occurred to me while I was watching tv.

(Or rather while I was desiring to watch tv but my children wanted to read books and lets be honest sometimes I would rather watch a funny and ever so slightly inappropriate show than read Flat Stanley one more time) but in the end as mom's we read the book. Again.

Okay I digress, sorry, off topic, on the slightly inappropriate show that I mostly missed, the family members made new year's resolutions for each other. Instead of setting their own, a family member set one for them. For some reason this intrigues me.

We spend so much time thinking about how we can improve ourselves that sometimes we forget such a simple solution:

Ask the ones who know you best; What can I do to be a better__________?

So I ask this of you......

if you drop in and read this on occasion,

if you know me better than I know myself or

if you barely know me.......

either way I want you to either leave a comment, send me an email, shoot me a private or public message on facebook, any which way you desire,

 tell me what can I do to be a better __________?

*fill in the blank, friend, sister, daughter, writer, co worker, support, wife, mother, person, however you want to fill in the blank. Your choice*

or a challenge to do more______ or perhaps do less _________.

This year is a blank slate.

No promises,

but you either choose to sing a rainbow,

or you don't.

Get some paper. Get some paint.

Let's get this year started.

FYI: I will be impatiently waiting for your responses....smile.
Hey. What are you doing?! Don't think I can't see you going to click that little tiny "x" up in the corner, I so can. I'll be watching you...