Economics-Supply and Demand

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

 

What we remember from childhood we remember forever - permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen. ~Cynthia Ozick

The last two weeks Cohen has gotten "mouthy."  Let's just say the  listening skills have not been very good.

Of course the few things we know about "behavior" is that it is a form of communication and most times it has more to do with what we (parents did/didn't do) than the child themselves. Typically the person that needs to change is me, the parent.

So this new attitude thing has left me questioning. 

Questioning lots of things because that is what we do as good mom's.

We questions ourselves.

 What's he "looking" for?  What is he getting from it? What is the underlying need?

My mind continues to to wander back to the same thought....he needs more time.

Time with me.

Time with his dad.

Time without so many demands.

I teeter on the edge of deciding if I am too hard on him or too lenient.

Are my expectations realistic?

There is such a fine and delicate line between tearing a child down and building a child up.

Before I was a parent I would have never understood how close those lines are.

"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you."~Robert Fulghum

I have found myself trying to reflect on my actions which of course influence his actions.

How do I handle my anger?

How do I handle my frustrations?

How I do react when someone request I do something that I don't want to?

Behaviors are learned. Right?!

It is an excruciating process to realize that your downfalls are surfacing in your child.

This week has turned into a competition for attention between my "babies." 

The "look at me's" and "see" and "mom's" and "watch this" are at a record all time high.

I fear that Cohen sometimes takes a back seat to Kadence. Not intentionally of course, but in general she has a more "demanding" personality. If I am not paying attention, she will get me(and everyone else!) to pay attention.

She has an amazing capability to suck all the possible attention out of a situation with cuteness and confidence, which is why I think he has taken his attitude to the next level!  As his cuteness typically is show cased in tender, quiet, but thoughtful manner (but see how that doesn't demand the same attention!)

If I hired someone to come in and track my most common statements I am confident that "Just a minute" would fall in the top 5!  I will admit that bothers me.

"If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves." ~C.G. Jung, Integration of the Personality, 1939

The more I try to balance the shared attention, the more I seem to feel like it's not enough.

I feel like I am pouring attention into each of their little attention need buckets but by splitting it, I will never get their buckets full.

Does that make sense?

Like it's not enough.

They need more.

HE needs more.

I am sure wishing I would have payed more attention in that silly economics class (that I hated with a passion) and would have taken the time to understand the theories related to supply and demand because this week the more I supply the more they demand.

and I find myself feeling like this........

Which is fine for awhile, but no one can maintain that!

I do know one other thing.

Because I care. Because I love. Because I am constantly questioning....I am doing my job.

I am a mom.

Happy Mother's day all you wonderful (full of worry)mom's out there!

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." ~William D. Tammeus

Spreading awareness

This is a video to raise awareness about CdLS. One of the families is from Columbus...the rest I haven't ever met!

Gentlemen choose your weapon

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

The proverbial argument has emerged again. That "one" that seems to always come back around. This marital "disagreement" at my house ended up as the lunch topic of conversation at work today.

Now I have an outstanding hodge podge of co workers varying along the spectrum from one that is very similar to me and gives me the "hell ya's" and "oh no he didn'ts" just at the right times to one that has the "fairytale" love even after 20 years of marriage, who provides the "now Jennifer, its all in how you look at it. Men's brains are very different and the sooner you accept that the happier you will be's."

The interesting part of today's conversation is our newest coworker who is from India. I wonder tonight his impression of our discussion at lunch today! He was sharing later about marriage in India and in a few years he will return home to an arranged marriage!  Yes after today I am SURE he won't be desiring to marry an American girl! *insert smile here

This conversation with him got us talking at work today about how different life would be for each of us. Who would our parent's have picked for us?  Could you imagine being told "well here ya go. This is your husband. Hope you like him!"  Oh course we had to ask the poor fella that one and our coworker's response to that question was "I trust my parents. they have known me for 29 years and they will pick the right person.  There will not be "love" love at first but marriage is different there. You do not work on your marriage alone you have the support and love of two families whose role is to support and grow your marriage with you."  Isn't that interesting!?

I wanted to ask more about if women were "submissive" there but after the earlier conversation figured I better wait to hear the answer on that one!!! Since he was the sole male in the conversation with 5 women!

So who would your parents have picked? Would they have been "right?" Seems like an intersting topic for conversation on Mother's day! Get to thinking mom!  

Here is the recommended area I can work on (per the Indian and the "fairytale love" coworker *smile)

"Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid." ~Harlan Miller

As I am a bit more like this:

"The man who never in his life

Has washed the dishes with his wife

Or polished up the silver plate -

He still is largely celibate."       ~Christopher Morley, Washing the Dishes

Ahh to see what tomorrow brings! Just so you know the dishes "stand off" lasted two days and I was victorious! *see now I would be getting a high five from a few coworkers and an insightful lecture from a few others for that thought/comment! *